Hospital Stays

Sounds like they pounded yo ass good and proper. Blud. Brap brap.

 

****s could have done owt they wanted to me, I was ****ing out of it.

 

I thought you were used to wood up your arse

 

Priorities sorted.

 

That's normal for tina.

 

This is also normal for tina.

 

I've had 3 hospital stays in my lifetime thus far.

1. Once when I baby, my mother "dropped" a pot of boiling tatties on me (abuse) and scolded all my ankle of which, my skin is still ****ed.

2. When I was 11, I walked through the wrong area and got jumped by a rival gang and got knocked unconscious during the savage beating.

3. When I was 18ish, I got a handjob off a girl who wasn't experienced and she ripped my banjo string, I had to go up to Stobhill for a reattachment a couple of months later.

 

In 2008 Colonel Gaddafi stabbed me in the heed with a Stag Antler, I didnae need to go to hospital that is for ****s! I tooka quick vodka and had it pulled out by Salmon Rushdie while Yeltsin and Mao Jr took bets on whether I would die or not. Thankfully that guy Freddie Mercury used to go out with gave me blood for a transfusion and here I am today.

But Evertwhere I go I hear Bruce Sprinstein In the Background singing

 

Playing golf when I was a young 'un and got in the way of my mate's swing. Number 7 iron struck me on the back of the heed - a lot of stars and a few stitches followed.

 

I hated gas at the dentists.

God knows how they felt after in the concentration camps.

 

I heard they felt rather groggy...

If the Jews are to believed of course...

<AREA51>

 

Hospital for a banjo string snap? Ya big ****in jessie. The "snap" is a rite of passage, no a medical emergency.

 

Any excuse to show someone my knob.

 

Strawberry was my favourite, it was the bomb, I sparked my da when I was seven waking up from it at the Glasgow dental hospital!

 

When I was in Hospital I used have the nurses hold the carboard piss box thing claiming I could use both my hands. After a while they refused.

 

My birds a nurse and tells me about guys like you. You've probably been put on the register on the sly

I've been in for a few operations, mainly on my knees. Been kept in for a few weeks a while ago while they cured my brain tumour with paracetamol and meditation.

 

Whit can I say. I like waving my walloper about.

 

I've suddenly been time machined back to 1986. Remember the gorgeous Joanne Whalley applying the cream in the Singing Detective?? Christ how could you not gush!!

 

Also have vague memories of all the durty shenannigans in "Pennies from Heaven", my parents tutting and turning it over. Dennis Potter wiz a right durty bastard.

 

ha ha my mum used to do that, turn the tv over if even there was a bit of kissing.