A tale of two adages

“Worse things happen at sea” were the parting words from my grandfather to my grandmother when he left home to head off to work on a trans-Atlantic cruise liner.

He was killed moments later by a bus which leads me nicely to the next adage about waiting for buses; “You wait ages for a bus and then two show up at the same time.”

We waited a while to have a young ‘up and coming striker‘ and were rewarded for our patience with the emergence of Andy Carroll. We also were rewarded with Nile Ranger who looked to have similar ability.

Alas; the first bus fecked off after a short stop whilst we were still standing on the pavement admiring the sheen of it’s paint and we’ve been left with Nile Ranger who’s been sitting there watching us drool over the uniqueness and potential of Carroll’s bus.

He’s a new bus driver is Nile.

He’s going to need time to get used to the mundane aspects of being a bus driver and learn the simple requirements of making sure we get to our destination safe and sound.

He’s only had a few lessons though and will need time.

His last trip wasn’t very good. He crashed the bus.

Still; given time and training he may find the benefits of learning to drive with a mini bus.

Sure it doesn’t have the grandeur of driving the big double decker but he’s got to perfect his driving abilities to make sure when he’s called upon again we don’t suffer the ignominy of ending up in ditch.

 

You know what... Ive never thought of it in that way!

 

He needs to respect his passengers

 

I think that he needs to be sent on a driving course at a smaller, quieter depot. He could gain experience in driving and learn the timing of when to stop the bus to let passengers on and off and when to speed past an empty stop. If he could spend a year driving along quieter more rural roads, he may return better equipped for the challenge of driving around the big cities.

 

And wave passengers on and off

 

agreed, jumping straight into driving the motorways and main roads will only destroy more of his confidence with each crash. est break him in gently with a quieter minibus country route

 

i like buses

 

A tale of two adages
“Worse things happen at sea”


considering another earthquake has hit japan followed by another Tsunami

it can get pretty ****ty on land also

 

This particular bus couldn't hit a barn door with a banjo, or hold the ball up, or bring other players into the game. The bus needs to go out on loan to a lesser bus company while we invest in a better Ferrari bus in the summer.
Probably didn't help that the bus timetable was affected by very poor service but still a very poor timetable.
We're talking about Ranger right?

 

Erm. I think so but I've also begun looking into minibus driving courses...

 

Brilliant story!
Brought a tear to my eye*

Lets take Alfie's advice. **** the bus, lets buy a Ferrari.



*100% complete lie

 

Thats Jonas's city tour bus

 

I can't get "The wheels on the bus" out of my head now!!!!!!

Thanks OT ;-)

 

Is there a new line in that song?

"The wheels on the bus fell off, the bus crashed and killed all passengers in a horrific fireball!"

 

Ranger's Paradise:

As I drive the bus down the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my life and realize that I’m daft
Cause I've been wastin' with nothin’ so long that
Even Pardew thinks that my mind is gone
But I ain't never crossed a ball that didn't deserve it
Me, be treated like a man, you know Shola’s preferred of
I better watch how he trainin, and the offside he walkin
….

 

Very well put Alfie, have some rep

 

Agree, spot on

 

**** the bus!! We should be spending £35M on new players! ****ing Ashley the fat **** getting it all wrong and thinking of himself! Buy new ****ing players and not a new team bus!

 

Not even a bus like this:

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I'm sure if Nile Ranger had a bus he'd pimp it up all gangsta style.....

or something like that.