The Gloves Are On...

It always seems a bit of a non-event when we talk of the best goalkeepers in the world, especially compared with the outfielders, so this is a dedicated thread for those with the most high-pressure job on the field (bar whichever player Cheick has decided to eviscerate for the afternoon). So, why is it a non-event?

Well, from our earliest school-days it's obvious that the place to be is scoring goals, or as far away from the stinky kid picking his nose and eating the spinach coloured remnants who had been unanimously elected goalie (or "jumper protector"... Goal-line technology? Give me a break, how about a BIG decision like whether the ball crossed inside the jumper or over it, and whether or not crossing over it even counts as a goal...?). In High school, the central defenders would be the tallest lads who didn't have the IQ to make the Rugby team, the forwards were the most skillful players who played for local league on Sunday (but not in Sunday League weirdly) and the wingers would be smoking in the changing rooms at half-time, and as consequence panting up and down the lines as they simultaneously tended the latest Beckham knock-offs (shaved in my dear Mamma or a pregnant teen sister) and mimed butt-****ing the ref while his back was turned... The goalkeeper? Either some slacker who wanted to get out of double Physics and texted his 35 year old girlfriend by one goalpost as the opposition casually scored 15, or someone who was given a note by a supposed admirer with instructions to meet in the teachers car-park, only to be bungled into the team bus and forced into the dreaded 70's style (and last washed) multi-coloured robes.

Going in goal is seen as a duffers job, consequently, yet they make some of the greatest moments in football history. Think that Gordon Banks save, think Krul's penalty ability, think the ridiculous scorpion kick, think that South American goalie with about 113 career goals...

To start the ball saving (as oppose to rolling.. cough Rob Green cough), I have a few thoughts on the matter:

In the premier league, we are at a somewhat lull in Goalkeeping ability to me, we don't seem to have the great stoppers, else they are older and slightly worse. What we do have is potential, and players like Krul, Hart etc who could be seen as all-time greats, or equally forgotten quite easily in history. Reina seems grossly over-estimated, De Gea is mentally weak, and I've yet to see anything approaching redeemable in Wozniak that makes the Arsenal fans so pleased (to be fair, they've had such bad goalies for a while, even bad might seem incredible)... My favourite goalkeepers, in order, go: 1. Vorm, 2. Hart, 3. Krul.

In the world, the "great" keepers are considered to be Valdes (who was at fault for a few goals in the champions league), Casillas (who tends to simply palm everything, even obviously catchable efforts), Buffon (which I regard as fair enough, though he is getting on now), Nueur (again, seems fair enough), Lloris (who has many dodgy parts of his game)... Are these players true greats, or are they simply benefitting from tame refereeing in leagues where you can get sent off for mistiming a breath near someone else? I wouldn't much care to see Lloris as our next French import!

Lastly, so blessed have us Newcastle fans been with great goalies, Shaka, Shay etc etc, I wonder whether we have some inherent ability for scouting goalies... Seems odd considering even Fergie and Whinger tend to be so flawed in this area!

 

A good article.
My fave keeper ever is Rene Higuita (spelling?) and his scorpion kick.
A close second was Jose Chilavert, the Colombian penalty taker....

 

Why are you spending time picking holes in Reina, Lloris, Casillas, Valdes, De Gea and Chesney's respective goalkeeping abilities but claiming Hislop and Given as great goalies yet they've never been anywhere near any of the other goalies you've been criticising?

Seems rather odd to me!

 

What about Rogerio Ceni?

[video=youtube;2RDmDohxMJA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RDmDohxMJA[/video]

His 100th career goal last year Class.

 

Reina is average in my opinion, and I genuinely do not care if everyone disagrees with me on this. I think goalkeepers, more than any other position, are subject to media bias, and we've had Lawro and Hansen cramming down our throats how good Reina is for years... Yet he seems one of the most error-prone goalies I've listed. Valdes and Casillas, too, have been promoted as world beaters.

This means when you see them save a standard shot I would expect a goalie to save, a commentator will shout "incredible stop", whereas someone they don't quite like so much will get "routine save"... When a chosen "great" palms the ball, it was "moving all over the place", when an "average" player saves it, well it should have been caught.

I judge, having been the stinky kid, based on what I believe I would expect to save myself and from there what I would expect a professional to save. It's my opinion, sorry if you don't agree. This is a forum though, isn't it?

 

The key error most people make for me is to try and compare goalkeepers from different eras like you would with outfield players. I don't think it is fair on modern keepers given the balls in use and challenges they face. Being a goalkeeper now is so much more difficult, and you are more prone to the silly error. Sure the pitches back then were more unpredictable, they got less protection and gloves weren't worn for a while but there are so many new challenges for keepers. You now have to be good with your feet given the rule changes, the shots travel so much quicker and are prone to moving in several directions. We have players like Ronaldo etc who now strike down on the ball into the turf to change the shape of the ball as it sets off causing havoc with dipping/rising/jagging both ways. Its a bit of a mindfield and thankless task. Can you imagine if Ronaldo had tried to strike down on one of the old balls, he'd be nursing a broken foot!

 

I always love being goalie, cos you can wrestle with players at corners. I got sent off last training match for picking up our striker (who's barely 5ft, but quick as a **** when you've got dysentery), and holding above my head to head the ball away, like a line-out. Is this actually illegal?

You can also: Hide mars bars in the gloves, throw yourself about and my favourite, take the piss out of strikers by making a really acrobatic dive to stop a really **** effort.

 

I used to have a smoke on the goal line when younger. Drank some Brandy too.

 

Hahaha class...

I must admit, being able to chat up the local talent during gritty nil nils is not a bad perk... Except in cases where said "talent" is local thugs kicking rocks around and shouting "****er" every five seconds, or where the dogs ****ting on the field of play (whilst being purposefully ignored by their owners) are more attractive... Thinking about it, I don't think it was ever a perk!