Jokes

Seeing as its that end of season quiet lull with nothing happening here's a couple of jokes to enjoy



As I rode past a field the other day I saw a scarecrow having a ****, I thought ****ing hell he's clutching at straws




The champions league final was just like world war 2, the English won, the Germans lost and the Jews suffered

 

what appalling taste

you must be a Millwall fan

 

Nothing gets passed you

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call it a wild and lucky guess

 

Must have been

 

nowt wrong with Millwall fans,Steve like most of the Millwall guys are always welcome here.

 

I just saw a dyslexic Yorkshireman walking down the street with a cat flap on his head.

 

I love it when the wife puts on her nurses uniform....
it means the fat ****'s off to work!!

 

I like the first one, very good.

But I think I am getting old or just plain stupid, because I don't get the second one. I didn't watch the CL Final though - is there actually something witty in this that I am not getting or is it just plain fascist?

 

I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
"Fine," I said, "I want to die when Ken Bates leaves Leeds."
"You crafty ****!" said the fairy

 

Elmo,

The jews suffered is Spurs who have missed out on the CL next season and have now gone into the Europa League as Chelski scum won (bought) the CL

Don't you remember all the build up that whoever finishes fourth ran the risk of missing out if Chelski won the CL?

 

Paul, how's your head after drinking with the Crewe massive?

 

I don't follow that ****e called the Premier League or the Champions League Steve

I see I just missed the joke but it still reads rather sinister for those of us that don't care much about the Prem nor have Sky TV

 

OK Elmo fair enough and I take your point about the joke

 

no worries mate

 

Of course.

 

I remember a great joke that made me laugh & laugh. Only heard the first line though. It went ...

Ken Bates put his hand in his pocket ....

 

12 athletes have been suspended in the build up to the London Paralympics after testing positive for WD-40

 

OK now m8,great day out and piss up does you the world of good.

 

And a moth flew out