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Off Topic The last poster wins thread NSFW

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Steven Royston O'Neill, May 2, 2012.

  1. Steven Royston O'Neill

    Steven Royston O'Neill Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #1161
  2. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    crab.jpg ...<whistle>
     
    #1162
  3. Rafa's Championship Party

    Rafa's Championship Party Well-Known Member

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    Is that the page 3 girls <whistle>
     
    #1163
  4. Steven Royston O'Neill

    Steven Royston O'Neill Well-Known Member

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    #1164
  5. Steven Royston O'Neill

    Steven Royston O'Neill Well-Known Member

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    #1165
  6. Steven Royston O'Neill

    Steven Royston O'Neill Well-Known Member

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    #1166
  7. Steven Royston O'Neill

    Steven Royston O'Neill Well-Known Member

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    #1167
  8. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    I'm just getting an x for your last two posts, so they must have been juicy...
     
    #1168
  9. Sidthemackem

    Sidthemackem Newcastle United 0-1 Cambridge United
    Staff Member

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    Me last again - wahey!

    It'll never last... :(
     
    #1169
  10. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    What wont?
     
    #1170

  11. Black Cat Kiwi

    Black Cat Kiwi Well-Known Member

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    7 things women do that drive men mad

    Women complain about us a lot. Whether we're caught adjusting our bits or we're making a mess, one thing we seem to be good at is doing things wrong. As much as we love them though, they annoy us too. Get ready for an uncensored whinge about women:

    Annoying female habit 1: Making an anniversary out of everything
    What is it with women turning the nice little things in life into a grand gift-exchanging, champagne-popping ceremony? We return home from a normal day at work to be met with a candle-lit dinner and an expensive looking gift but, quite frankly, it makes our heart stop. Have you done something wrong? Is it your birthday? My birthday? Oh silly me, it's the anniversary of the first time we looked at each other. Please refrain from doing this, ladies. We have a hard enough time getting event dates right without being shouted at for not buying the dog a card to celebrate the anniversary of his first vaccination.

    Annoying female habit 2: Piling the bed with cushions
    One would be mistaken for thinking that a bed is for sleeping in. We go to get our head down for the night, only to find the bed piled sky-high with strategically placed cushions that leave no room for us. What's more, only a couple of these cushions actually have a purpose. We don't need the tiny heart-shaped one or the big fluffy one that makes us sneeze – just a normal pillow to rest our head on will suffice. We don't adorn the bed with DIY tools and model cars, so please tame your OCD (Obsessive Cushion Disorder) and stop making an elaborate display out of our bed so we can get down to the important stuff.

    Annoying female habit 3: Asking us what we're thinking
    It's a classic example of how women like to test us, and possibly trick us into making the cardinal sin of admitting that we weren't thinking about her at that particular moment. One minute we're enjoying watching the football, the next they're hurling that question at us when we're least expecting it. They say it so fast that we don't have chance to make up a false reply or even to think straight, which leads us to stutter and then be accused of thinking of our ex. Asking what we're thinking is basically a nice way of saying 'you aren't allowed to have private thoughts, unless they're about me'.

    Annoying female habit 4: Saying 'I'm fine', when you're not happy
    So she stood in front of the television while the football was on, we got a bit iffy and snapped, and now all sorts of issues have been bought up. Then she says it – that passive-aggressive statement that marks the start of the dreaded silent treatment: “I'm fine”. Erm, are you really fine because you've just screamed at us until you've gone red in the face, and now you're laying face down on the bed crying. If you're unhappy just outline the problem and then we can sort it out and carry on as normal. Or – even better – don't outline the problem and let us watch the football in peace.

    Annoying female habit 5: Using sex as a weapon
    One of the most annoying things that a woman can do is deny her man of sexual privileges or force them upon us. Some women seem to take great pleasure in using our weakness to their own advantage through the classic 'if you don't do this, we're not having sex' scenario. If you're going to stop us from doing one thing, please don't think it matters to us if it's just sex. We don't stop you from eating and drinking, so please don't mess with our basic human needs either.

    Annoying female habit 6: Being over-emotional
    You cry at funerals, you cry at weddings, you cry at happy films, you cry at sad films. This makes us feel awkward because we just don't know what to say or do when you're sat sobbing all over our freshly ironed shirt. Where do all these tears come from? We think women should just have an annual crying day where they get together and cry for twenty four hours, before coming home and being normal for the other 364 days of the year. It would solve a lot of our problems.

    Annoying female habit 7: Incessant talking
    We've heard that women are estimated to say around 20, 000 words a day – which is an awful lot compared to the paltry 7, 000 estimated for men – so we understand that she needs to get her daily nattering fix, but why is it always at the most inappropriate times? She was quiet all the way through the family dinner when we needed her to break the awkward silence, but as soon as we start getting to the competitive part of a multi-player game with our friends, she just won't shut up about how cute the neighbour's cat looks when it sits next to the rose bush. To make it even more annoying, the actual part of the story she was getting at whilst rambling on about the neighbour's cat, was that the cat's owner now works at the grocery store down the road. Ladies, if you're going to talk, pick the right moment and please, just get to the point, then shut up & get out of the room to prepare the meal.
     
    #1171
  12. Shameless

    Shameless Well hung member

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    those are universal I think BCK

    <feelingabitdepressednow>
     
    #1172
  13. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    I can see an awful lot of truths in your post Kiwi...
     
    #1173
  14. Black Cat Kiwi

    Black Cat Kiwi Well-Known Member

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    I particularly liked No 7. Off home now for dinner & hopefully peace & quiet <whistle>
     
    #1174
  15. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Decisions decisions.....Monday, Tuesday Wednesday etc.
     
    #1175
  16. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    She was in the Adams Family when she was a young lass!
     
    #1176
  17. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    And strangely attractive<whistle>
     
    #1177
  18. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    I'm glad I wasn't the only one to think that in my youth..<laugh>
     
    #1178
  19. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Abortions were given to three teenage girls in England and Wales who had previously had at least seven pregnancies terminated, latest figures reveal.

    Pro-life campaigners said young women were being "let down in an appalling way" after it emerged three of the 38,269 teenagers who had a termination in 2010 had undergone the procedure at least seven times.

    NHS figures released to the Press Association under the Freedom of Information Act show another two teenage girls had their seventh abortion in 2010, the most recent year for which data is available, while four more teenagers had a termination for the sixth time.

    Fourteen teenage girls had their fifth abortion in 2010, 57 teens had a termination for the fourth time and 485 women aged 19 or under went through the procedure for a third time.

    .........................

    bloody hell.
     
    #1179
  20. Billy Death

    Billy Death Guest

    Many a true word spoken in jest marra, <ok>.
     
    #1180

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