mental burds

I was just met a burd from the year above me in school who was truly mental. She asked one of my pals out and he said no due to the mental instability. she pulled a knife on him and asked again. surprisingly he changed his mind. they were together for 3 months before she was jailed for robbing a shop at knife point. He still doesnt talk about it.

any other mental burd stories?

 

There's a mental bird lives round the corner from me. I was partying in my house 1 night & me & my mate were smoking in my garage around 5am.

She knocks on the door & starts tellin us this story about her lost dog & if she can look in my back garden for it.

Few weeks later partying again & another mate says Medro there's some woman standing in your garage.

So she's now just strolling about at all hours calling round to mine.

I'm afraid of waking up some morning with her in my bedroom & I might be forced to tank her.

Mental women need loving too.

 

They're aw mental.

Thread closed.

 

My mate claims he got raped by a lassie down The Ferry in Inverness.

 

Yer mate shagged a stinkin mong and claimed rape instead of telling use what really happened

 

'

 

^^^
MD in 3 hands hell

 

It's the water up my way, it turns people.

 

My mate from college always said that every burd is mental, some more so than others, but they are all mental. He was on the money with that one

 

I was out in Miami a few years back and had just came out of club Crobar.Everyone was standing around talking and deciding about what to do next.

Then some woman, looked like in her 60s, probably in her 40s, came up to me and asked me for a few dollars.

Seen that she was missing her front teeth so twigged on she was a crack addict. That and the fact that she didn't have socks or shoes on.

Didn't really want to give her money for gear so asked her what it was for. She said to eat, so I bought her one of those jumbo slices of pizza. Then she said it was actually for a pack of smokes. Give her a few. Then it was for drink. Voila I had smuggled beers out of the club, so give her one of those.

She asked me to still give her the money so I told her I would give her 20 dollars if she stopped bullshitting and told me she was a crackhead. She eventually did and I give her the money. She wanted to hug me but I wouldn't let her near me.

About 2 days later we were heading down to the beach and she was standing in a public fountain washing herself with shampoo with all her clothes on.

Crackhead mental

 

So you bought her dinner & drinks, smokes and cash and you still didn't score? Wow, I thought I was bad at picking up birds!

 

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I'm pretty sure I could have got a gummy gobjob, but she looked rancid.

<theonethatgotaway>

 

Ex-****ing-actly.



You should she the nick of this burd as well. She looks like a cross between SuBo and Fatima Whitbread

 

****ing hell sounds hot. you ever drank in Coopers bar on john Street. The quality of fanny in there is outstanding.

 

Nah, I don't like getting mugged on my way home from the pub. My mate lives on Harriet St and is in there a lot though.

You can't miss the ****, he's 6'6 and has one and a half thumbs.

 

Long time since I've been in that dive. Makes the Bridge Bar look upmarket.

 

The Saturday morning rave in the Schooner was magic. Miss that one these days.

 

Nah its the Friday night kareoke in the Carlton bar that brings out the best nutters. Happy 90% of the night then stab you if you sing one of their songs. ****ing mental.