I thought I'd do what every journo alive is doing right now and make some **** up..... Apparently the long term successor to KD will be someone who is currently alive and comes from planet earth.....this clearly rules out Slur Alex. Also, news on the stadium; plans may or may not be ready this year.... Suarez is considering leaving LFC as they refused to buy toilet paper with a picture of Patrice Evra on it..... God this is boring......got to tip your hat to the hacks who have to do this all day long!
I hear Dalglish has been added to the shortlist. The owners feel his sacking has thrown the club into chaos and they need somebody to unify everybody. They were looking at Shanks and Paisley but an unnamed club insider tipped them off on their unavailability.
I heard Graeme Souness, Roy Evans and Gerrard Houllier were being interviewed today as a triple management team...
Torres is coming back to Liverpool as Director of Sulking. John Terry starts his own Nutmeg import business UEFA have forced Chelsea to make drogba to wear training wheelies so ho doesn't fall over so much Scientists think they have finally figured out how Di Matteo fit 10 chelsea players into 2 yards of pitch at the Nou North London Powershift(TM) Arsenal like playing in bad weather against teams with a bit of grit
Chelsea will play expansive football in the CL final. Drogba wont pretend to be hurt, actually did that just now, what a joke of a player, how on fkn earth do refs still buy that ham acting
Kenny gives a farewell Glasgow kiss to Fergie. http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/sir-alex-ferguson-rushed-to-hospital-839724