Guide to criticising Roy Hodgson's Squad Selection

Captain: if someone who has been captain before, "predictable". If not, "wrong".

Average age of squad over 26: too old, over-reliance on the failed so-called "golden generation".

Average age of squad under 26: inexperienced/ruining our chances for the Olympics (I forget whether we care about this or not).

Goalkeepers:
Joe Hart: obvious choice and deserves no credit.
Rob Green: plays for a championship club. Only selected due to failure to persuade anyone else out of retirement, ergo poor man-management.
Ben Foster: nepotism.

Right back:
Failure to take all of Micah Richards, Glen Johnson, Kyle Walker, Phil Jones and Chris Smalling constitutes a decision, and therefore automatically a risky/wrong one.

Left back:
Ashley Cole: obvious, deserves no credit. If a back-up is selected: unnecessary, waste of a squad place (cf. Stephen Warnock). If not: short-sighted.

Centre back:
Failure to persuade Rio and Terry to play together is poor man-management. Success is "too risky".

Central Midfield:
Gerrard: make reference to Hodgson's time at Liverpool and cast doubt on ability to get a performance out of him.
Lampard: too similar to Gerrard. If not picked, make unflattering AVB comparisons.
Scott Parker: would certainly perform better if 'Arry was manager
Carrick/Barry: boring.
Scholes: if picked, desperate. If not picked, a missed opportunity
Anyone else: an unknown quantity.

Wings:
Joe Cole: if not picked, point out that he has been playing brilliantly in France. If picked, point out that he has been rubbish in France. No-one will bother to check either way.
Ashley Young: if picked, diver that will not fool continental referees, therefore a waste of space. If not picked, point to past goalscoring form and ability to win penalties.
Adam Johnson: if picked, has hardly played for Man City this season. If not picked, has hardly played for Man City this season and would have bought much-needed freshness to the squad.
Walcott: if picked, has only ever performed that one time against Croatia. If not picked, performed that one time against Croatia.
Stewart Downing: if picked, 0 goals 0 assists. If not picked, bemoan lack of natural left-footers in the squad.
Anyone who plays for Swansea: if picked, they play for Swansea, a small club. If not, harshly overlooked.

Strikers:
Rooney: if picked, waste of a squad place. We'll be out after 2 games anyway. If not picked, have "ROO-DICULOUS!!!" headlines on standby.
Andy Carroll: if picked, has been rubbish all season. If not, has been brilliant for the last two games.
Defoe: if picked, has not played all season. If not, gifted finisher, adds freshness to the squad, 'Arry would have picked him.
Crouch: if picked, exposes England's dearth of strikers. If not, think of the wonder-goal.
Sturridge/Welbeck: if picked, inexperienced. If not, robbing the future of English football of valuable tournament experience.

Source

 

I care more for the Olympics than the Euros. Leave all the U21's behind for a one off chance of winning an Olympic Gold. Leave the Euros for the Golden Generations final farewell at International level. Plan for Brazil 2014 from next season. Imo. Having an Olympic Gold medal on your CV is something that should not be dismissed,, imo.

 

smallings out for the euros injured so thats one less to moan about

 

Same to you Mr Clueless.

 

Nice one - he truly can't win (unless he actually goes and wins it of course!)

 

Even if we did win it he will have done something wrong

 

Nah, England fans are like us lot, we'd still find sommat to moan about, and plonk the praise on either the club managers or the players or even the previous manager(s)!

 

England fans are miles worse than City fans. You see the same person being rational and sensible about City yet going on about every player being past it/old/****/fat/an infidel when it comes to England. This quide is spot on.

 

Your an idiot. On their CV?? What are they going to do apply to join Brazil or Spain?? Unbeleavable.

 

You just cant help getting the racist references in!!

 

Pretty much right

 

I assumed by infidel he was referring to infidelity rather than faith?

 

your spot on with everything !

They all except the England job though ! Even though they get slagged off by everbody !

 

Wonder what nickname they have lined up for Roy or are they just happy to keep mentioning his speech impediment, the fans reaction to him being appointed hasn't been too bad, not everybody buys into 'arry for England and all that

 

If we do well then Hodgson was lucky.
If we do not do well then he was inept.
Easy.

 

Indeed. I was suggesting everyone is obsessed with England players' sexual choices. It's actually more important than their ability.

I'm surprised it wasn't immediately understood, it's one of my favourite rants

 

Gossip and celebrity appears to be what fuels Britain these days. Unfortunately.

Anyway, and more importantly, who has JT been shagging recently?

 

Actually thought it was Hesford saying this at first