HELLO DUCKIE DUCKS IN HEAVEN !!! Three women die together in an accident And go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!' So they enter heaven, and sure enough, There are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, And although they try their best to avoid them, The first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St.. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!' The next day, The second woman steps accidentally on a duck And along comes St. Peter, Who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together With the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, Not wanting to be chained For all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, But One day St.Peter comes up to her With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ..... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being Chained to you for all of eternity?' The guy says, 'I don't know about you, But I stepped on a Duck.
A gang of bikies are driving across a bridge, they see a girl about to jump off, they stop and one of them says to the girl, "don't do that, come over here and give me a kiss ", she gives him the best kiss he's ever had in his life. he says to her " wow, your gorgeous, and with a talent like that why would you want to commit suicide " , she says ' the authorities don't like me dressing up as a woman " . Police believe she was pushed.
Sorry Blind, think I posted this one yonks ago, but for **** sake , keep em coming, I think everybody likes a good yarn or joke. I know I do.
Sex after Death A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact: "Marion ... Marion " "Is that you, Bob?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "That's wonderful! What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again" "Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?" "No...........I'm a rabbit in Norfolk!
