Tampax have announced today that they will be replacing the cord on their tampons with a piece of tinsel. This will be for the Christmas period only. David Cameron has announced that he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits. From next week all the forms will be printed in English. I was driving this morning when I saw an AA van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'. An RAF fighter plane was flying over Afghanistan when the pilot noticed a flying carpet on each side of his plane both with a machine gunner on board. Sensing danger he shot them down. Back at base he got a right bollocking - apparently they were Allied Carpets! On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking Doctor' - I thought what a good idea, why don't we have them in our country.
I was down the City centre today and 3 Tampax, Ultra, Maxi and Slim passed me. Not one of them said hello, to me. Bunch of stuck up ****s.
When we were kids me and my older brother went to the chemist. My brother bought a box of Tampax and the chemist said to him. "Do you know what these are for youngun?" My brother replied. "Yeah, they are for him my little brother!" "Why would you get them for him?" asked the chemist. My brother responded. "To help him swim and ride a bike, he can't do either yet!"
A woman in Boots sees a deal offering 5 boxes of Tampax for a pound. She can't believe how good the deal is and asks the manager, "Is that price correct?" "Sure is," says the manager, "It's a special offer, 5 boxes for a pound and there are no strings attached!"
