Kenny Dalglish goes in to church for confession......."Forgive me father for I have sinned". The priest replies "come forth my child". Dalglish says "come fourth? We'll be lucky if we come feckin tenth"!!!!!! A group of Liverpool supporters have returned for a trip to an orphanage in Zimbabwe. "It was a great chance to meet such underprivileged people with very little hope in life", said Alfred Mgombo, aged six.
[video=youtube;fTLEKH7HiT8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTLEKH7HiT8&feature=g-hist&context=G26c532cAHT5RbwAAPAA[/video]
Not wumming ( don't see how i could anyway considering my team isn't even in the conference ) but this short video is hilarious http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmUYfFbvIps
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an intelligent Liverpool supporter and an old drunk are walking down the street together when simultaneously they each spot a fifty quid note. Who gets it? A: The old drunk, of course - the other 3 are mythical creatures
You might have seen this one before but if not - Liverpool fans on their way to wembley the other week https://p.twimg.com/Aqb21ZxCAAArg6o.jpg:large
Scouser is walking down the high street in Croydon when he sees a video entitled "Liverpool The Glory Years" in the window display of a chairty shop. He goes in and says to the assistant: "Eh ar kid, ow much for the 'Pool video like?" After wiping the phlegm from his face, the assistant replies: "£100." "That's a bit steep innit la?, the lovable cheeky scamp asks, "ow come its dat dear soft lad?" "Well," the assistant says, "it's £1 for the tape and £99 for the Betamax player."
Benitez sent scouts out around the world looking for a new striker to replace Michael Owen who had gone to Newcastle. One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on the field he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the lad comes off the pitch, he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. "Hello mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me". "Wonderful," says his mum. "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters while you were having a great time!" With this news, the young lad is very upset. "What can I say mum, except I'm so sorry". "Sorry!" exclaims his mum. "It's your fault we all moved to Liverpool in the first ****ing place!"
Apparently, from september, Liverpool's new sponsor will be Butlins. Their season finishes in november too.
Rafael Benitez: "Our new Winger cost five million. I call him our wonder player" Sir Alex Ferguson: "Why's that?" Rafael Benitez: "Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"
