You tune in whilst united are losing and abruptly switch off when they grab the initiative? Obsessed.
Feigning ignorance won't get you far, you're obsessed with seeing united fail, and have a cry when they don't. In short, you're often weeping into your bitter and anticipating another night of bed-wetting.
You just perfectly described the way the most active users on this board (United fans) in the way they view us. Bored now.