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Sleep Talking

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Magic Laudrup 11, Apr 12, 2012.

  1. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member
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    No. I think your story is too difficult to beat.
    No, I'm not going to apologise for being a wum.

    Should have changed that to when I stayed there <doh> You live and learn.

    <MLincan'tformatapostcorrectlydisgrace>
     
    #21
  2. alwaysright

    alwaysright @ Very Angry Camel

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    Thank you for pointing out my omission.
    ps I thought it was brave of you not to deny the content.
    <cheating-eveninincest>
     
    #22
  3. Barrie Lochrie

    Barrie Lochrie New Member

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    Sleep walking, sleep talking, sleep shagging, sleep muffdiving, I've got a full repertoire of sleep induced incidents. Sleep pissing too, both in a drawer and in bed (dreamt I was standing at a cubilce pissing)

    The Time I pissed in my drawer was a belter. I was on the bevvy and woke up at 3 desperate for a piss, couldn't be arsed getting up and went back to sleep. Alarm goes off and IO went for a pee and a dribble came out. Went to get ready and all my underwear was soaking. <ohohspaghettioh>

    Put all contents of the drawer in the washing, job done.

    'Twas a few weeks later, I was going to the Rangers game after work and put my Rangers strip on underneath my work gear. We used got picked up in a minibus in Gearge Square as the job was in Queensferry and I used to have to sit beside this fat **** fae Airdrie, fat smelly bastard that he was, he used to smoke and eat at the same time, I SWEAR TO GOD, he'd take a bit of a his roll and sausage and then take a draw of his ***!! Anyway, this particular morning, he was even more stinking than normal, I'm sitting there next to the **** nearly barfing!! No matter where I turned away from the fat ****, I could still smell him! Then it wafted up from my body. IT WAS ME AND A PISS SOAKED RANGERS STRIP!! Soon as we got to the job, Strip off and washed in the Construction Site toilets. <laugh>

    Ah, those were the days <laugh>
     
    #23
  4. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    <laugh>

    I would imagine most blokes have done the drunken sleep pish. I pished on the bedroom wall while she was punching me in the back. I couldn't understand why she was hitting me cos I thought I was in the toilet.
     
    #24
  5. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member
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    <laugh>

    I've never pissed the bed or pissed in a cupboard/drawers as an adult <whistle>

    I have pissed in a sainsburys bag in my bedroom because my mum was in the bathroom after I got home from a night out. Waited til she was in bed before going to empty the contents, but then realised it had holes in the bottom of the bag <laugh> Trail of piss leading from my bedroom to the bathroom. They never suspected a thing <whistle>
     
    #25
  6. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    I pissed the bed on my wedding night. I still deny it to this day though, blaming the big damp patch on night-sweats :cheesy:
     
    #26
  7. - SW6 -

    - SW6 - Well-Known Member

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    Start as you mean to go on<ok>
     
    #27
  8. Barrie Lochrie

    Barrie Lochrie New Member

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    I pissed on her tits in the jazuzzi on our wedding night. <somersault>
     
    #28
  9. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member
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    She's a keeper
     
    #29
  10. Barrie Lochrie

    Barrie Lochrie New Member

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    She certainly is Callum.

    12 and a half years later and I still love ****ing her.
     
    #30

  11. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member
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    It's Calum ya fanny <grr>

    Cheers

    Calum McSporran
     
    #31
  12. Barrie Lochrie

    Barrie Lochrie New Member

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    What is it with ****s spelling their names ****e on this forum.

    Barrie, Calum, Rusle :bandit:
     
    #32
  13. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    I think the problem with all of your "girlfriends" waking up is that you obviously got the dosage wrong. Try a few more milligrams of Rohypnol and they'll sleep all night and you can slip out before they wake up screaming.
     
    #33
  14. - SW6 -

    - SW6 - Well-Known Member

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  15. Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction

    Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction Well-Known Member

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    Dont forget Andy <ok>
     
    #35
  16. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    When I was about 12, I had a "waking dream" where my bed was a sweet shop, I was surrounded by bottles of ginger and MB bars, Anglo bubble gum and similar, the dream lasted about 10 minutes and as I gradually woke from my dream I was trying to grab things off the shelves and money from the till too.

    I was gutted when I realised it was all a dream because at the time it seemed 100% real.

    Wierd.
     
    #36
  17. Barrie Lochrie

    Barrie Lochrie New Member

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    Certainly is.
     
    #37
  18. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Pedant.

    <whistle>
     
    #38
  19. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member
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    My dads punched my mum because he was dreaming about being in goals trying to save a penalty. She actually believed him <laugh>
     
    #39
  20. Kim Jong Il

    Kim Jong Il Well-Known Member

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    i ****ed on my burds back when she was sleeping because she wouldnt let me pump her. got her right on the bit she couldn't quite reach<laugh>
     
    #40

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