Lads, lads, lads, lads, lads...help us out. Got a bit of a 'situation' on me hands. I need a foolproof excuse for bailing on Bank Holiday booze this afternoon, but my imagination is deserting me. Here's the backstory; Stayed with a friend last night (female) at a house she was looking after. She was bored, asked me if I fancied coming over, she'd do tea, have a few drinks and I could stop over. I said "ok". Went, ate, drank and just dossed about chatting. She goes "right, off to bed, you can sleep in the same one as me if you like". I said "ok". Now, I'd supped off 10 Budweisers by this time. This girl is my friend, of a few years, and I knew there was nothing in it. Yet Mr Budweiser (yes, I'm blaming him and not my own indisciplined loins) encouraged me to make it obvious that, if she wondered, I was 'up for it'. To clarify, I got nowt! I think I even 'batted' her at one point with my chap, just playfully like, on the bum. Anyhow, I'm back home now, to meet up later on with her and a load of her mates in pub (I don't know or like them that much if I'm honest), and I'd just rather not. There was no mention of the 'batting' this morning (or my hands, which went on a bit of an adventure) but I felt like a bit of a tool. Some of you lads must have shared a similar experience? That's not the issue though. How can I get out of this now and make it sound genuine? Answers on a postcard. Or just here will do...ta.
WTF are you doing mate. Get back there and get on that god damn pussy you wimp! And all her mates while your at it! Christ by what you've put she couldn't tell you she's up for it any more if she put it on a plate right under your nose! This is your excuse, you wanted to ****, you still wanna ****, and that's what you intend on doing whether you have her consent or not.
That sounds like a prison sentence waiting to happen. I was misled, tricked! They're too clever for me.
sounds to me like she was fairly confident, shed be "safe" with you sleeping next to her if you know what i mean
Just say some family thing has come up that you forgot you was meant to go to usually works for me lol
My thoughts and feelings on this: 1/ Your a jammy basta*d and ive gone right off you Party, i used to like you. 2/ Thats what you get for drinking fancy beers!! Budweisers aright bag of sh1te. I investigated this after never liking it and found out its made with rice- I hate rice. You should have stuck to cheap Aldi/Lidl/ thus giving you a perfect excuse- "I can not remember a thing treacle, fukin cheap lager, rots my brain, how did you get those scratches, why are you cowering in the corner, lets pretend this never happened, why dont you have a bath, wash away the evidence etc" 3/ Sounds like she has had her eye on you for a while. Her mates will have a go at you this afternoon for not treating her right, "do you think your special bullsh1t, why cant you settle down, are you a player, where do you get off treating women like tramps, is that what you think (insert name) is, is it? is it" Your in trouble son hehe. Or tell her footballs on. Admit your a disgrace, never wanna settle down, like treating women like objects and prepare for abuse and halfs of lager and lime thrown over you whenever she see's you. Thats what i used to do.
This beat me to it Bob.Fill your boots son and don't take any prisoners.It's your duty to do them all man. Live up to your name Party !
Im with chazz on the bit that she must have had her eye on u for a while as there sounds like there a lot of hints from her as she only invites u round and said ur welcome to stay in the same bed id give it another go mate just make sure u do have cheap larger next time incase it fails again as chazz said gives u a good thing to blame if **** gets out of hand haha
While were talking excuses,has anyone got a good one i could use for not going to the game on Monday ? I can't bear to watch this slow torturous death of a once promising season !
You could say you've got to go round and sort Party's "friend" out!! Come on Party, your not just letting yourself down this is the whole Not 606 Tigers board were talking about.
I used this to get out of a family thing today- "Look there are 2 important games in the premiership run in today, they need to be viewed." there reply was you dont support either team to which i said "I know, but I love football." Safe to say it went down like a lead balloon but Im ready to watch the football instead so im happy.
Id hapilly swap places with ya id rather go to watch city then be stuck down here at work any day and thats saying sone thing coz i love my job lol
Now if it a family thing to get out of i use work and say i cant get it covered or blame the 300 milr distance between me and family either works well untill they offer to pay my train fare lol
Hints, and then no ****ing put out. I get confused at the best times, this totally beats me. I think the reason I don't wanna go out is anger. And battered pride.
Are you single? I'm guessing so. In that case go out with them this aft, fook one of her mates, she'll be gutted and you'll be smashing her within a week. Job done.
