. Now on sale at IKEA - LESBIAN beds, no nuts or screwing involved; it's all tongue and groove. 2. A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related. 3. Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced that they are closing lanes 7 and 8. 4. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.
a young monk pops into the local after a hard days praying at the monastary.. after downing his pint, the landlord asks him "does the priest know you're out?", monk replies "he should do as I sucked him off before I came.."
A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?" The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him. "No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch."
I slept like a baby last night said paddy oh! did you have a good sleep? said murphy no said paddy......I **** myself, puked everywere and woke up sucking my mums tits
My small grandson got lost in the new Liverpool One shopping centre. He approached a security guard and said, "I've lost my Granddad." The guard asked, "What's his name?" The child replied, "Granddad." The guard smiled asked: "But what's he like?" The little angel thought for a moment and then replied, "cans of lager and women with big tits."
