I'm sorry, I have had to come and do this. My son Nev has to go to hospital this evening because he has had some worrying signs. He told me how fond he was of all you lot, especially a guy called EDGE. Well the results have come in, he is well and truly a horrible ****. I hope he dies of cancer to the bum from all the anal sex he has had. PS, When I gave birth to him. I always hoped he got cancer to the baws.
Do keep up, Nev's Maw. After examining your son's scrotum, doctors have established that organ harvesters had slipped your boy a mickey, removed his testes and replaced them with a pair of Tees Valley Beef Meatballs. The lump he felt was simply a bit of gristle. Nev will suffer no ill effects except that he'll never have children - when he ejaculates, he'll spunk up tomato sauce instead of semen.
Nev never told me this, he's obviously kept secrets but I always though he was honest. He did in fact tell me he lost his virginity to Kevin Mckeown at school. That little rascal came back a few years later and gave me a good going over too.
All this enlightenment is shocking me. I will be having a word with Nev later and I won't be sucking his cock anytime soon. I will leave that for his father to do.
