Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet. Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat." Vet: "Is it a tom ?" Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi' me." A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by. Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of me dead dog?" Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?" Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!" A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "She were Thine" engraved on it. He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look. When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "She were Thin". He explodes ââ¬â Yer a gormeless bugger, you've left the flamin' "e" out! The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning. Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".. The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud - "E, She were Thin". Bloke from Barnsley with severe piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?" Chemist replies "Aye 'appen, waddya want a Magnum or a Cornetto?"
Two southerners - businessmen in London - were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn"t ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we"re selling." No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Yorkshireman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a broad Yorkshire accent asked "What"s tha sellin" ere then?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We"re selling arse-holes." Without skipping a beat, the Yorkshireman said, "Tha's doing well then... Tha's only two left!" A couple are playing 'I spy' in the kitchen of their home somewhere in Yorkshire. 'I spy with my little eye something beginning with T' said the husband. "Tea pot said the wife." 'Nay Lass!' "Tea towel." 'Nay Lass!' "Toaster." 'Nay Lass!' he said, drumming his fingers on the work top. "Oh I don't know" she said at long last "I give in" 'It's easy' he said. 'It's t'oven!' One afternoon this bloke from Barnsley comes home from 't pit and finds his wife writhing in agony on the floor. She is bleeding badly from the vagina. The man rings the doctor and tells him. "Has she got the coil in?" The doctor asks. "Got the coil in?" Retorts the man. "She's not even got the bloody tea ready yet". Old farmer taking new milk maid round farm,found bull and cow mating, slips his arm round her and says "owd you like me to do that"? milk maid replies, "tha can do wat yu want, its your bloody cow"! Yorkshire sheep farmer taking his driving test, examiner says to him, can you make a ' U ' turn ? ' make a ewe turn ? I'll make its bloody eyes water '
