I've started my own band

Here's our first song.

It's called: "I Got Hurt Feelings":


Some people say that rappers don’t have feelings
We have feelings. (We have feelings)
Some people say that we are not rappers. (We’re rappers.)
That hurts our feelings.
(Hurts our feelings when you say we’re not rappers.)
Some people say that rappers are invincible
We’re vincible. (We’re vincible.)
What you are about to hear are true stories
(Real experiences)
Autobiographical raps.
Things that happened to us, All true
Bring the rhyme!

I make a meal for my friends,
Try to make it delicious,
Try to keep it nutritious,
Create wonderful dishes.
Not one of them thinks about the way I feel
Nobody compliments the meal

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
I feel like a prize @sshole
No one even mentions my casserole.
I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings.
You coulda said something nice about my profiteroles

Here’s a little story to bring a tear to your eye,
I was shopping for a wetsuit to scuba dive,
But every suit I tried is too big around the thighs,
And the assistant suggested I try a ladies’ size

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
I’m not gonna wear a ladies’ wetsuit I’m a man!
I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
Get me a small man’s wetsuit, please

It’s my birthday, 2003
Waitin’ for a call from my family

They forgot about me

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
The day after my birthday is not my birthday, Mum
I call my friends and say, “Let’s go into town,”
But they’re all too busy to go into town
So I go by myself, I go into town
Then I see all my friends, they’re all in town

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings.
They’re all lined up to watch that movie
“Maid in Manhattan.”
Have you even been told that your @ss is too big?
Have you ever been asked if your hair is a wig?
Have you ever been told you’re mediocre in bed?
Have you ever been told you’ve got a weird-shaped head?
Has your family ever forgotten you and driven away?
Once again, they forgot about J
Were you ever called “homo” ‘cuz at school you took drama?
Have you ever been told that you look like a llama?

Tears of a rapper (tears of a rapper),
I’m crying tears of a rapper
Tears of a rapper

 

i take it its a one man band you crazy bastard

 

Thats not bad. Woudl need to hear the tune you've set it to before i can assess it fully though

 

All we need now are the Jazz replies to this post

 

Were you ever called “homo” ‘cuz at school you took drama?
Have you ever been told that you look like a llama?


Brilliant Jazz

 

was this written by a woman?

 

Ok I've had 3 Nelsons at lunchtime. But even if I hadn't, I still can't work out, how all of a sudden I can post on this forum.

Too tired to type now.

 

For **** sake. Just discovered I can only post on this ONE thread, because I'm accessing it via a link I pasted into an e-mail earlier.

This is gonna have to be "The Jazz Thread"

Keep an eye out for up to the minute developments in the lifes of myself and YDRMDY.

 

You forgot to tell them about our cold dinner.

 

Looking at the room, I can tell that you.
Are the most beautiful girl in the...room.
(In the whole wide room).
And when you're on the street, depending on the street.
I bet you are definitely in the top three.
Good lookin' girls on the street.
(Depending on the streets).
And when I saw you at my mate's place.
I thought...what, is she, doing...at my mate's place.
How did he get a hottie like that to a party like this?
Good one, Dave.
(Ooh, you're a legend, Dave).

I asked Dave if he's going to move on you.
He's not sure.
I said "Dave, do you mind if I do?"
He says he doesn't mind.
But I can tell he kind of minds.
But I'm going to do it anyway.

I see you standing all alone by the stereo.
I dim the lights down to very low, here we go
You're so beautiful.
You could be a waitress.
You're so beautiful.
You could be a air hostess in the 60s.
You're so beautiful.
You could be a part-time model.
But then I seal the deal, I do my moves.
I do my dance moves.

Lets travel through, just me and you.
As other dudes around you on the dance floor.
I draw you near, lets get out of here.
Lets get in a cab. I'll buy you a kabob.
I can't believe. I'm sharing a kabob.
With the most beautiful girl I have ever seen with a kabob.
Oh, why don't we leave?
Lets go to my house.
We can feel each other up on the couch.
Oh no, I don't mind taking it slow.

Cause you're so beautiful...
Like a tree. Or a high class prostitute.
You're so beautiful.
You could be a part time model.
But you'd probably still have to keep your normal job.
A part time model.
Spend part of your time modeling.
And part of your time next to me.

My place is usually a bit tidier than this.

 

Bowie's in space
Bowie's in space
Whatcha doin' out there man?
That's pretty freaky, Bowie.
What's a rock musician doing out in space man?
Isn't it cold, quite cold out there Bowie?
Do you need my jumper Bowie?
Does the space cold do funny things to your nipples, making them all pointy?
Bowie.
Do you use your pointy nipples as telescopic antennae transmitting data back to Earth?
Data back to Earth d-d-do, d-d-do, do do
I bet you do you freaky old bastard you

*Spoken*
Is it lonely out there in space man, or is there life on Mars? Wouldn't that be weird coz you wrote that song, 'Is There Life on Mars'. You could write a follow up tune and call it 'And There Is'

Mmmm, and there is yes there is.
There's heaps of it and it's all freaking out at my new look.
Bowie do you have one really funky sequined space suit, Bowie?
Or do you have several ch-ch-ch-ch- changes?
Space changes
Do they smoke grass out there in space man, or do they smoke Astroturf?

*Spoken*
Receiving transmission from David Bowie's nipple antennae. Do you read me, Lieutenant Bowie?

This is Bowie to Bowie, do you hear me out there man?
This is Bowie back to Bowie I read you loud and clear, man.
Oooh yeah man!
Your signal is weak on my radar screen. How far out are you man?
I'm pretty far out
That's pretty far out man
I'm orbiting Pluto!
Drawn in by its grooveatational (grooveatational) pull
I'm jamming out with the Mick Jaggernauts
And they think it's pretty cool, man.

Are you ok Bowie? What was that sound?
I don't know man, I'll have to turn my ship around.
Oh it's the craziest thing
Yeah, I'm picking it up on my LSD screen.
Oooh, but can you see the stratosphere, ringing?
To the choir of Afronauts singing

Eeniee e ma ma meenie miny moey
Set your phasers on funky
Eeniee ma ma meenie miny moey
Pippew, pipew pipew, pew
Eenie, ma ma meenie minie miny moey
B-b-b-b Bowies in.....

 

Lets get in a cab. I'll buy you a kabob.
I can't believe. I'm sharing a kabob.
With the most beautiful girl I have ever seen with a kabob.

Cause you're so beautiful...
Like a tree. Or a high class prostitute.

 

You're starting to get annoying now. 3 Stella's? You must be slaughterd.

 

3 Stella's you must be slaughtered

You could be right ... I've just screwed your daughter.

 

Aww Yeah
Girl tonight we're gonna make love
You know how I know?
Because it's Wednesday
And Wednesday night is the night that we usually make love
Monday night is my night to cook
Tuesday night we go and visit your mother
But Wednesday we make sweet little love

When everything is just right
There's nothing good on tv
You haven't had your after work social sport team practice
So you are not too tired
Oh, boy, it's all love
You lean in and whisper something sexy like,
"I might go to bed. I've got work in the morning."
I know what you're trying to say baby.
You're trying to say "Aww, yeah. It's business time.”

It’s business
It’s business time
I know what you’re trying to say
You're trying to say it's time for business,
it's business time, oooh
It's business
It's business time
Aww ohooowoah yeah, yeah

Then in the bathroom brushing our teeth
That's all part of the foreplay, i love foreplay
Then you go sort out the recycling
That isn't part of the foreplay,
but it's still very important

Next thing you know we're in the bedroom
You're wearin' that baggy old ugly T-shirt you got from work several years ago
Mmmm, you know the one, baby
With the color stain

I remove my clothes
Very very clumsly
Trippin over my jeans 'cause I'm still wearing my shoes
But it's okay because I turn it all into a sexy dance.

Next thing you know I'm wearing absolutely nothing
Except for my socks
And you know when I'm down to just my socks
what time it is
It's business time

It's business
It's business time
When I'm down to my socks it's time for business
That's why they're called business socks, oooh
It’s business
It’s business time
Oooh, hoo hoo hoo oooh yeah, yeah

Making love
Making love for
Makin love for two
Making love for two minutes
When it's with me you only need two minutes,
because I'm so intense
Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven

You turn to me and say something sexy like, "Is that it?"
I know what you’re trying to say, girl
You're trying to say, "Aww yeah, that's it"
And then you tell me you want some more
Well, uh... I'm not surprised
But I'm quite sleepy

Mmm
It's business
It's business time
Business hours are over, baby
It's business
It's business time

 

Then you go sort out the recycling
That isn't part of the foreplay,
but it's still very important


Brilliant

 

The last 2 posts by Girvan Loyal and Magic Laudrup 11, appear on my screen as blank posts.

What was actually in them?

 

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