The Official Man Utd & Liverpool plus Chelsea, Everton and City Banter Thread!

So. The guy who was my room mate at university and best man at my wedding is over in London for a meeting today. He's lived in Oz for 20 odd years and I've only seen him once in that period of time. I regularly stay at my mate's down there when I'm on business, but I couldn't get a meeting sorted for the Monday, so I took the hit on train fare myself.

I decided to get the 12.20 pm train, so had a spliff, and got to the Cheese for 10.30 pm. The landlady greeted me in her pyjamas with a pint, and as is her normal wont, a free sambuca. Several pints and sambucas later, i got into the taxi to the station with my 4 cans of Carling, a book and my washbag.

Arrived on time at 2.10 pm and went to meet the mate I was staying with at the Royal George next to Euston. We had a few in there and then got the bus to meet my mate from Oz and another university mate at the Wellingto on the Strand £4 a pint They got there much later than expected, but at least he'd just flown from the other side of the world. The other fu.ker had no excuse as he'd only come from Ealing, the twat.

Everything now becomes rather hazy. Apparently we got up to go to another pub. My knees are knackered with arthritis anyway (sport injuries), so I'm not the best on my pins. I blundered into a couple sitting at a table and knocked their drinks over. Replacements were acquired. Don't remember walking to the other pub, but I neede support. Cutting to the chase, we got to King's Cross to get the traing back to Hornsey where my mate lives. By now, it was just me and him, and I was going down on a serial basis, gashing my nose, cracking a knuckle and sustaining multiple bruising.

The train arrived and I staggered towards with my mate trying to support me. The guard said there was no way I was getting on the train, prompting me to fall over once again. I then lifted my head to see a copper plodding towards my prone body. He asked my mate if he was travelling with me and he confirmed he was. I was expecting the inevitable trip to the nearest cells for the night, but instead, the copper said "Help me get him up and we'll get him over to the taxi rank.". That's a first - a nice copper! The first three taxis wouldn't take me, but luckily the fourthe one did, having been assured by my mate that I wouldn't throw up. Taxi cost £20.

Anyway, got back to my mate's, had several more spliffs and several cans whilst playing quad golf. I was right as rain by now. Weird really.

I was stiff as fu.k all day Sunday, so decided I'd phone my MD to tell him I wouldn't be in on the Monday.

What was my excuse..........................?


PS the semi cheered me up a bit

 

I'm with you on this 1 people be begging for it all over the place!

 

I bet it did you massive bender

 

Most of the estqate agents I know get off on cheap shots

 

How?

 

Bum sex rep given

 

"Quad golf" is just my terminology for computer golf, or in this instance, PS3 golf

 

i can see how that much booze would make you only able for a semi but was your mate not offended?

anyway...... your excuse should have been mugging.....

 

I know, but if you could barely walk how the **** were you playing ps3 golf?

 

The SG Appreciation thread is back up and running

I've also created a rep thread on the United board for user to pimp themselves out for rep on that thread

Dead on here again today.

 

I'm very impressed MITO. That's exactly what it was

 

I was OK when sitting down. I wasn't very good, but I did beat my mate 2 games to 1

 

What's 'rep'. I thought it was a kind of theatre.

 

What happened to the match thread for the semi-final. I couldn't find one. Was Chris slacking.............................

 

go to the control panel at the top of the screen and it will show you who has given you any...


Good work in London

 

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Grassing on yourself sweats.

 

.

 

I agree with you about the tags on the rep thread Sweats

 

Which bit? I didn't pull any minge and didn't hack anyone up and bury them. Well only myself

 

If he thinks telling me he "wants to lick The Hammerhead TM" will cause me to provide him with rep, he has to take a serious look in the mirror