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Martin Skertl "Facts"

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Bozz, Mar 15, 2011.

  1. Hash.

    Hash. pure daycent

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    wasnt on about you pep anyway its just another fact thrown in there
     
    #21
  2. Muppetfinder General

    Muppetfinder General Well-Known Member

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    Martin Skrtel emits wavelengths outside any calibration, which causes Mancs and Chavs to warble pointlessly on boards they don't belong on about subjects they have no clue about.

    Martin Skrtel is so beyond the pale that he's come back round.

    Martin Skrtel puts neutron stars in his hot chocolate.

    Martin Skrtel is such a bad boy that Kate Moss and Amy Winehouse had a fight to see who got to lick his boots clean.

    Martin Skrtel's butler is John Maclane.

    Martin Skrtel ended a DFS sale.
     
    #22
  3. KingPepeReina.

    KingPepeReina. Active Member

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    Martin Skrtel is so tough that the song is now called Bad boy Martin Skrtel instead of Leroy Brown.....Because Martin Skrtel said so.
    The whole world now says Martin Skrtel is nice.......because he said so.
    Martin Skrtel once gave Alex Ferguson the hairdryer treatment.
     
    #23
  4. Bloody Wanker

    Bloody Wanker Active Member

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    Skertl was a one man team capable of winning every trophy he competed in. But not even he could do it at Liverpool.
     
    #24
  5. BringBackfootie

    BringBackfootie New Member

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    Yeah nice one there "Herman".. Fail...
     
    #25
  6. BringBackfootie

    BringBackfootie New Member

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    I wouldn't let Amy Winehouse lick (your) boots, jaesus.

    Martin Skrtel caught every last pokemon
    Martin Skrtel can deal 53 cards from a deck
    Martin Skrtel only plays sink Your battleship
     
    #26

  7. KingPepeReina.

    KingPepeReina. Active Member

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    Martin Skrtel shot JR and Mr Burns.
     
    #27
  8. BringBackfootie

    BringBackfootie New Member

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    Martin Skrtel was once told "time will tell", so he made "time" tell him everything

    Martin Skrtel makes the sun wear shades
     
    #28
  9. Muppetfinder General

    Muppetfinder General Well-Known Member

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    Martin Skrtel made David Blaine's watch disappear.

    Martin Skrtel has a Blue Peter badge made of Kevlar.

    Martin Skrtel booked a flight home on Virgin and a secret phone rang in Richard Branson's house.

    Martin Skrtel put on weight to play Robert De Niro.

    Martin Skrtel advises Sam Raimi.

    Martin Skrtel has a USB socket in his ear.
     
    #29
  10. BringBackfootie

    BringBackfootie New Member

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    Martin Skrtel taught Mr T how to Pity the fool
    Martin Skrtel can get John Lennon the Beatles back together
    Martin Skrtel only pays by bodycheque
    martin Skrtel can catch fish with a tackle
     
    #30
  11. KingPepeReina.

    KingPepeReina. Active Member

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    Everything Martin Skrtel hits....he destroys.
    If there ever was a real life Ivan Drago....It would be Martin Skrtel only tougher.
     
    #31
  12. HRH Custard VC

    HRH Custard VC National Car Park Attendant

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    Martin Skrtel is deluded, just like his fans
     
    #32
  13. BringBackfootie

    BringBackfootie New Member

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    Eatcustard have you got a football called Wilson? you poor b@stard


    Wayne Rooney is so lost on the pitch he pays 20k a week to Vodafone for roaming charges
    Wayne Rooney once got nutmegged by a flower
    Wayne Rooney once turned milk sour by looking at it
    Wayne Rooney Chews on wasps instead of gum
    Wayne Rooney once caught a baseball with his face
     
    #33
  14. KingPepeReina.

    KingPepeReina. Active Member

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    Wayne Rooney is so fat....satelites orbit him.
    Wayne Rooney is so fat...he comes from both sides of his family.
    Wayne Rooney is so fat.....when he got on a weighing scales....it said one at a time please.
    Wayne Rooney is so fat....when he sits around the table....he sits around the table.
    Wayne Rooney is so stupid......he once tried to put M&M's into alphabetical order.
    Wayne Rooney is so stupid.....when he was told it was chilly outside he came running with a bowl.
    Wayne Rooney is so stupid he thought a lift was a mobile home.
    When god was giving out brains Wayne Rooney thought he said trains and said he didn't want one.
    If brains were dynamite Wayne Rooney wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
    If brains were chocolate he wouldn't have enough to fill a smartie.
    He's so ****ing ugly,his mother tied a bone around his neck so the dog would play with him.
    He was such an ugly baby they had to be over 18 to go in and see him.
    He is so ugly he's put outside to keep away kids at halloween.
     
    #34
  15. HRH Custard VC

    HRH Custard VC National Car Park Attendant

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    Wayne Rooney is so good he has a hat full of Premier league medals
     
    #35
  16. KingPepeReina.

    KingPepeReina. Active Member

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    So what,Djimi Traore has more champions league medals than Eric ****inhalf.
     
    #36
  17. Muppetfinder General

    Muppetfinder General Well-Known Member

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    Eatcustard is so stupid he tried to put m&ms in alphabetical order.

    Eatcustard is so stupid he put paper on his TV to get a paper view match.

    Eatcustard is so stupid he took the Pepsi challenge and chose Head 'n' Shoulders.

    Eatcustard is so stupid he studied for a dope test.

    Eatcustard is so stupid he bought a solar-powered torch.
     
    #37
  18. Swarbs

    Swarbs Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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    #38
  19. Constcrepe

    Constcrepe Active Member

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    Well since you're being childish, how many League winner medals has Gerrard got?
     
    #39
  20. Bozz

    Bozz Well-Known Member

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    Great.... I was skimming through the posts on the board and I thought... oh wow thats 2 now and no sign of Man Utd & Liverpool fans measuring their penis' and then a entered this topic....

    Man Utd are Great, Liverpool are greater, why can't we put our differences to one side and both concerntrate on a common enemy... Chelsea!
     
    #40

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