Use these exact words they work a treat : ''Alright Sugar Tits, I'm worried you are going to be left on the shelf at your age but don't fear I'm here to help - fancy a bum'' Works all the time
Definitely smash her.. Sort out an office outing drinking session straight from work.. Then do it.. Always worked for me.. When everyone is pissed no one will notice..
People just don't go out for drinks like that though. That would be so out of the blue and suspicious! It would have to be a case of being the last to leave work because she tends to lock up. Interesting! I stupidly put petrol in my diesel and had to train to work for a few days last week - who picked me up and dropped me off at the station? Who drove me to the menders? Maybe she wanted paying with a meaty length!
fk me m8! why not go the whole hog and teabag her She's sound? doesn't mean no atm. No kissing afterwards I suggest convincing her to have a 'friend' over too P.S a female friend btw but whatever floats yer boat
She does have a sister as it happens!! I'll ask her to get her involved once i've force fed her a few gallons of vodka!
Sometimes it goes too far, try queue at the esso garage at 2am and your mate gently licks the manky denim of a tramps arse ahead of us in the queue
I **** you not, me mate mark, chef, celtic fan and otherwise self admitted pretentious cock. it was back in the clubbing days, we took some **** and **** happened, random **** that makes jackass look like the moomins
Jesus christ mate. Relentless effort. I need to step up! My mate at the Reading fest a few years back bought a sausage dog and, you guessed it, put his cock in the bun. We went to the walkway and offered "free hot dog". A few hundred people must of seen his penis in about half hour! We got some amazing reactions and some guy ate the bun in the end!
****ing marvellous, was cooking a chilli tonight, dropped my knife, bent over to pick it up on the way back up thusly smashed the side of forehead into an open over head cupboard.. I now have blood pouring out my head and a L shaped gouge reminiscent of Harry potter on my swede..
