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The Official Man Utd & Liverpool plus Chelsea, Everton and City Banter Thread!

Discussion in 'Manchester United' started by UIR - Kagawa Powa, Jul 21, 2011.

  1. Sharpe*

    Sharpe* Senior Member

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    Jesus christ mate that blasts me out the water!

    Can't say i've ever gone fisting, been fishing a few times mind!

    I know this girl from uni - although I didn't talk to her much then.

    I got hammered on a reunion just before Chistmas and told her I liked her.

    She knows a mate of mine and I bumbed into her on a night out (as you do lol) and she gave me a handjob on the dancefloor.

    Is that any good? I 'am' visiting her this weekend.
     
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  2. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    <laugh>

    Thankfully she doesn't name people.. Though I think I may have been mentioned in one.. She posts links to them on Facebook when she is drunk then deletes them..

    Some are really quite sick, like a girl being ****ed using a hairbrush by her dad.. She is a bit mental..
     
    #18422
  3. Page_Moss_Kopite

    Page_Moss_Kopite Well-Known Member

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    It can be found under the heading 'The returneofthesweatbandslubedhand'
     
    #18423
  4. KingEric07.

    KingEric07. cape wearing twat

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    Bummin someone on a night out is impressive <ok>

    ''I've never done fisting but I've been fishing mind'' <laugh>
     
    #18424
  5. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    That's not a bad effort.. One year on a christmas party I had a bird either side of me giving the old chap a buff at the same time while we were eating a turkey dinner.
     
    #18425
  6. Sharpe*

    Sharpe* Senior Member

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    Yeah you got to love the fishing! And yeah semi organised to meet her out that night! My mate's gf knows her too which which is handy.
     
    #18426
  7. KingEric07.

    KingEric07. cape wearing twat

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    <laugh>

    'lubedtotheelbow' doesn't have the same ring does it.

    Mind after that night her ring was never the same either
     
    #18427
  8. Page_Moss_Kopite

    Page_Moss_Kopite Well-Known Member

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    Think i'll stick to the fishing.


    <laugh>
     
    #18428
  9. BringBackfootie

    BringBackfootie New Member

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    hahah hand shandy on the dance floor, we used to go to a club and for the crack dance with chics unbeknownst to them with our nuts hanging out of our flies n them giving it socks! until the phone pictures and videos afterwards. Thsoe were the days
     
    #18429
  10. Sharpe*

    Sharpe* Senior Member

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    Where the hell do you go out/work? I think my secretary quite fancies me as it happens! She's 40 odd, not bad as it happens and single.

    My mate fingered a 43 year old in Spain last year and people at work know and it has somehow morphed into a rumour about me that I like older woman - which is true I guess.

    I'm a potential toy boy apparently!
     
    #18430

  11. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    <laugh> .
     
    #18431
  12. BringBackfootie

    BringBackfootie New Member

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    Nice way of saying you're looking for a mammy:) Awwww
     
    #18432
  13. Sharpe*

    Sharpe* Senior Member

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    ****ing hell great effort! I need to start pulling some of these tricks.

    I had the biggest grin on my face. A fair few people noticed what was going on and a few younger guys were clapping!

    Tried to get her back to my hotel - a travel lodge again conveniently! But I lost her. Going to set the record straight hopefully.

    I'm staying at hers - confirmed by her. I hope she's not a cock tease.
     
    #18433
  14. Sharpe*

    Sharpe* Senior Member

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    I'm not that young. Wouldn't mind an experience gobler though!
     
    #18434
  15. BringBackfootie

    BringBackfootie New Member

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    nope she aint, get some booze in her and if you get a shandy on the floor you should be gtg in her place, use some of that old trusty scouse humour, try not to go through her handbag:)

    Get her more hammered and you just simmer, more fun that way
     
    #18435
  16. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    Back then I used to work for Norwich union.. The Christmas parties were legendary..

    Been an estate agent for ten years now so crimbo parties are **** as not many staff to try it on with..

    Though the one place I worked at their was a milfy 37 yr old who managed the lettings dept, I was 28 at the time I smashed her a few times over her desk and in the loos.. She was the last swallower I had.. If the older bird is fit defo do it.. It's a wonderful experience I genuinely felt used afterward.. Tremendous..
     
    #18436
  17. KingEric07.

    KingEric07. cape wearing twat

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    I think the reason why she wouldn't come back is because she is actually a man.

    She will suck you ff this time then break the news to you by then lobbing hers out. Well thats what I'm going to tell everyone anyway <ok>
     
    #18437
  18. Sharpe*

    Sharpe* Senior Member

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    Yeah I should be quids in! Might try and use a wine bottle!

    But yeah she seems pretty sound to be honest.
     
    #18438
  19. Sharpe*

    Sharpe* Senior Member

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    Nice mate. I do have a set of keys to the office as it happens. I reckon if I tried it on it could happen as I also know she's been single for a while and picked up on her body language.

    It would be very dangerous though and if people found out it would be the talk of the company - and that company is pretty big!

    Doable but highly unlikely. One off at a christmas do? Potentially!
     
    #18439
  20. Sharpe*

    Sharpe* Senior Member

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    I bloody hope not! I had a feel on the dancefloor although she did pull my hand away. Now I know why! Jesus no!
     
    #18440

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