Try this one. Before I went to university (many moons ago). I was going out with a bird who was a nurse (2 certainties in life - death and nurses). I took her back to my mum and dad's house one night and they wouldn't let her in. So we went to the garage and got into the back of my dad's car. She was on the rag, so I whipped the mouse out and threw it over the back garden fence as I was bladdered. I knobbed her and then she went home and I went to bed. The next morning I was lying in bed and heard the doorbell go. I heard some muttering and then the door opened and my mum walked in. She was holding a plastic bag with said mouse in it. The neighbour at the back had brought it round, the kindly soul. Needless to say, I received a massive bollocking for that one.
**** me, you've boned some odd birds - most ones I know would use tampax, not small wildlife - a fan of Freddie Starr and Richard Gere, was she?
