Found this one earlier: I don't think its appropriate to make jokes after this tragedy. I know its hard to feel sorry or sympathy cos they're foreigners, but we have to remember they lost everything in almost an instant. They've been left with nothing.... Still there's always next season for arsenal. Wondered if anybody had any others ?
I remember this schoolboy joke we used to tell when Raich Carter was Manager and it was that stupid it still makes me laugh. Raich got the team together and said "We've just signed that goal-scoring machine, Billy Bighead, and he'll be playing Centre Foreward on Saturday so just do as he tells you and we should see some goals". Just before kick-off, Bighead gets the team together and said "Right ho lads, I'll win the toss and we'll kick off. I'll pass the ball to the inside right, he'll pass it to the right winger who'll run down the right wing, centre the ball and I'll head it in"! All the team are saying , 'yeah, yeah' and muttering under their breath 'Big-Headed bastard'! Big Head duly wins the toss and kicks off by passing the ball to the inside right, who passed it out to the right winger, who ran down the right wing and centred the ball where Big Head scored a fantastic header but unfortunately got his head stuck between the goalposts and the game had to be abandoned. Sorry!
They're renaming the trophy cabinet at The Emirates. It's now going to be called 'The Cabinet'. A man's walking down the street when he's attacked by a huge dog. From out of nowhere a bloke in a football shirt rushes upto the man, pulls the dog off the man and kills it by smacking it across the head with a piece of wood. The man is in huge shock but when he come round a bit he says 'that was a very brave thing you did for me there, it just so happens i'm a reporter for a local newspaper and i will make sure this story is on the front page. It'll say, heroic Man United fan saves reporter from deadly animal'. 'I'm not a Man United fan' says the man. 'Ok, Brave Liverpool fan saves reporter from near death experience' says the reporter. 'I'm not a Liverpool fan' says the man. 'Ok, quick thinking Newcastle fan saves reporter from vicious attack' says the reporter. 'I'm not a Newcastle fan' says the man. 'Well, who do you support?' askes the reporter. 'Leeds United' replies the man. The next day the headline in the local paper reads 'Leeds hooligan kills beloved family pet'.
agreed... its the M621 comes out of Leeds. Interesting user name, Owl, for someone that obviously dont like Leeds (the city not just the club) given that the Owl is the city emblem and on the council's coat of arms.
Q. What do you call an Leeds fan with half a brain? A. Gifted. Q: What is black and brown and looks good on a Leeds Fan? A: A Doberman. First Leeds fan: "Are you shearing that sheep?" Second Leeds fan (adjusting his trousers): "No, get your own." What do you call a Leeds fan with three sheep? A pimp. Why do people take a instant dislike to Leeds fans? Because it saves time.
stewards at Elland Road catch 2 men round the back, climbing over the walls on matchday... they grab them, pull them down and make them go back in and watch the rest of the game..
please log in to view this image Hopfully this will clear it up the M62 doesn't come out of Leeds, so just to clarify this mean nothing good ever came out of Leeds!
Why do housewives love Arsenal? Because they stay on top for ages and come second What do you call a Leeds fan who scores over 100 on an IQ test? A cheat
In the interests of balance... Little boy complains to his social worker that he wants to move away from home, as he's getting beaten by his parents. "Where do you want to live then," asks the social worker. "With the Hull City team," says the boy, "they never beat anyone." ----------------- A man has been found drowned at the bottom of the River Humber wearing a Hull City shirt, women's underwear and fishnet stockings with a sex toy stuffed up his rear end. Police removed the City shirt to save his family any embarrassment.
Apparently the ash cloud that grounded dozens of planes last year wasn't caused by a volcano in Iceland. It was the janitor at Leeds blowing the dust off the trophy cabinet.
