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The Lost Art of Seduction

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Otto Flayshow, Feb 7, 2012.

  1. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    Just spent the last 6 hours in the company of a charming Australian lady, 50, with a view to pumping her senseless. I know some of the kids will be retching already, but I'm in my mid 40s and your objectives change over time.

    Anyone who's followed my zany, madcap adventures on not606 will know that I could charm the knickers off a cobra and have the body of a Greek god. She was up front about the fact that she's still living with a Portuguese rasta, but I felt confident that my flickering tongue and rapier wit more than compensate for my micro-penis.

    My question to the panel is therefore this:

    How could this pumpable, but slightly wizened lady, while obviously frothing at the gash, turn down my clumsy but slightly illegal advances?
     
    #1
  2. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    Have you had a shower in the last 6 months?
     
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  3. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    I had a quick rub with a flannel and a spray with Imperial Leather. I even de-clinkered with a Philips bodyform shaver.
     
    #3
  4. ManDingo 20"/20"

    ManDingo 20"/20" MDMA Guru

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    She won't, stick the bit to her tarquin <applause>
     
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  5. Paulie Gualtieri

    Paulie Gualtieri Active Member

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    you went wrong the minute you left the hammer in the shed <ok>
     
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  6. - SW6 -

    - SW6 - Well-Known Member

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    I was just going to say he hadn't rendered her unconscious<ok>
     
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  7. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    I'm lost then, usually smelling nice is enough...
     
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  8. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Well-Known Member

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    I'd say your techniques do not work on older women who know all the tricks

    Also, she was up front about another man (read "I have a boyfriend")

    Stick to a younger, impressionable, woman
     
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  9. Erik

    Erik Well-Known Member

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    Bag over the head time, methinks
     
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  10. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    Did you call her " Sheila ", all australian women love that.
     
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  11. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    I was gonny say you should have locked her in your basement, but that's for Austrian wimmin.
     
    #11
  12. biggerbossman

    biggerbossman New Member

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    Leathery face, lizard neck and dry as a packet of peanuts downstairs.... Too much spit to get the old bitch going............
     
    #12
  13. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    Try gay men instead. They're much easier, or so I've heard.
     
    #13
  14. YeOldeYozzwolde

    YeOldeYozzwolde Active Member

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    <yikes>

    I prefer the Dutch burds, they are right durty, and i presume that you won't get the ole bawbag slapping bawbag with most of em either.
     
    #14
  15. - SW6 -

    - SW6 - Well-Known Member

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    Unless of course you are DP'ing one<ok>
     
    #15
  16. YeOldeYozzwolde

    YeOldeYozzwolde Active Member

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    I honestly can't think of anything that would make my adour, softer that having to watch someone elses bawbag swingin about.
    Why do you think they are tucked away were you can't see them too well??, cos to be fair they are not the most aesthetically pleasing thing in the world.
     
    #16
  17. - SW6 -

    - SW6 - Well-Known Member

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    I'm curious to know how you'd be looking at their nutsack if you were ball deep in one hole and them in another...
     
    #17
  18. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Ah've got a rather handsome set of baws I'll have you know.
     
    #18
  19. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    Where there's a will there's a way <ok>
     
    #19
  20. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Karma Sutra, page 148 <ok>
     
    #20

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