Valentines weekend this week

Sometimes he comes over as somebody who would be pleased to get half a shag.

 

Does ****ing over someone while they're asleep count as a half?

I hope to get half my hole at some point this weekend as well then

 

I'm single for the first valentines in years. So I'm gonna relax with some good movies (unless there are any interesting sporting events on) with a bottle of wine.

 

me and the burd are goin to edinburgh for a nite out on sunday night, goin for a meal n that

 

ye gony ride the arse aff her Ian?

 

nah, i was gonna take her up the arse the other nite and she bent over and her piles were hangin out and it looked like a brain so i reached to the bedside table n cut them off with her eye lash curlers. nae arse ridin for a while its safe to say

 

I'm usually too knackered to do anything romantic by the time I've inflated her.

 

burd has the painters in next week so probably rip the heed aff it.

 

Does she no let you do her up the arse?

 

Snap.

Fancy some company? You wont have to indulge in small talk either after we have ridden the night away.

 

What a classless, clueless lot you are.

 

They are indeed, romance is dead for these ****s.

I am getting off work early to pick up a dozen red roses, will run her a bath for when she gets home with scented candles dotted all around and some nice tunes playing. As she bathes I will cook a romantic meal meal with fine wine lots of candles and romantic background music.

After all that I will attach the lead and take her for a walk.

 

quality!

 

I thought ER was a gentleman.

 

I can be but I'll let you into a secret I can be obnoxious, obstreperous, obstinate and belligerent at times, seriously.

Im not always nice and complimentary.

Besides I have no woman to be gentlemanly with now.

Thank ****!!!!!

 

Compared to you, so was Ted Bundy.

 

I can only skype.

 

I thought it was fenandos

 

My bird is nightshift Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Last night I said it would be difficult to tell if she died while shagging her.

I'll be ripping the heid aff it.