Your next Visit

I know you have visited us (Norwich) already this season, but it seems there maybe a chance that we will stay up. So, for your next visit to us next season (hopefully), here is a guide that may make your trip to us easier.



Notes of Interest.

It is only necessary to produce this passport if challenged OR traveling in the county of Norfolk. They (the locals) only object to furriners (you) coming into their domain and NOT leaving it. In fact they have been known to assist vacating holiday – makers and visiting football fans with a pitch fork or well aimed turnip.
If, as an immigrant, you may have purchased an illegal Norfolk passport on the black market, you have obviously not been residing in the county for the statutory 38 years.
Beware if any locals pretend to accept you after 20 years, as this will certainly be a bluff and normally happens in a public house when you are buying a round. So, do not be fooled, they are not as slow as they make out. Indeed, they have a saying:- ‘Yow ken allus tell a Norfick bor, but yow keernt tell im much’


USEFUL PHRASES:

Good morning: Ar ya orrite
Good afternoon: Ar ya orrite
Good evening: Ar ya orrite
Hello: Hay ya gitting on tagether
Goodbye: Fare ya well tagether or Dew yow keep a troshun
Unfortunate situation: A buggers muddle
To chat with someone: Mardle
To think someone is backward: Yow siller owld fule.
Unimportant chatter: Squit
Below standard: Thas a rumman
A violent threat: Blast bor, yowl git a ding-a-tha-lug
Feeling quite well: Fare t’ middlin

FAMILY NAMES:

Father: Far
Mother: Martha
Boy: Bor
Girl: Gal

A common question asked when trying to catch furriners out is: ‘Hay ya far got a dicky bor?’
This means: ‘Has your father got a donkey boy?.




PLEASE FILL IN THE GAPS AS APPROPRIATE.



FOTA


Last Nearme:
Farst Nearmes:
Okapeershun:
Plearce o’ Buth.

NOTES ON FILLING OUT THE PASSPORT

Surname: (larst nearme) - Always use a local one such as: skipper, Thrasher, Basher Thumper, Muddler, Cruncher or similar.

Christian names: (farst nearmes) – Again, go for a local one such as: Humper, Spike, Didler, Thruster, Blinker, Catcher or something similar.

Occupation: (Okapeershun) - Fearmer, Ret catcher, Kreeber, Sugarbeet Larry droiver or simply put I wark at the tearky fearm.

Photograph: (Fota) – When posing, always hold a frozen turkey or sugar beet in front of you, place a straw in the corner of your mouth and piece of black paper over one of your two front teeth, smile and look at the ceiling with a simple expression on your face.

Place of birth: (Plearce o’ Buth) - Choose a tricky one such as Happisburgh – Haysbra, Wymondham – Windham, or Hunstanton - Hunston

 

Wrong side of the country. That's west country.

 

That'll do!

 

.......and i thought I had too much time on my hands

 

What other type is there?

 

Definitely. We don't like changes


Come and visit us sometimes on our boards