(this is a pathetic attempt to get the "global" topic on terracing off the top of our board) I wish to set the ball rolling on an ambitious bid to stage footballs greatest extravaganza in Gods own country.It is my belief that we can achieve in the KA postcode area what Engurland couldnt.It will take many man/woman hours sitting in hostelries around Ayrshire planning thsi but I am confident we are a shoe in . I propose we set up a bribes committee to look at and source the type of " gifts" the delegates expect.To this end I will throw into the pot a gold rolox watch I bought in Tenereife from a nice gentleman for 10 euros.Also my wee sisters pal Senga, who is a bit of a looker , well she has her own teeth, is willing to put out for 10 Benson & Hedges and a litre of White Lightning so thats the female entertainment sorted. Venues---The TTOP of course will stage the final and opening game at least which will call for the expansion of its capacity to FIFA standards.We will have to knock down the Frank Beattie stand but it will be replaced by a 30000 seated and heated structure that will bear the great mans name again.The Moffat and Chadwick will merge sympathetically with Frank and contain 20000 each, to accommodate this number they will be 400 feet tall but row zzzzz punters will be given oxygen masks.The East stand I am afraid will agian overhang the residents of Mclleland Drive ....a little.I mean the residents across the other side of the road, but compensation will be paid from our bribes committees budget.That will give our new stadium the 90000 capacity both FIFA and our team demand and deserve. Other venues to include Scott Ellis, Kay Park,Dean Park Irvine Meadows grun,Auchinleck and Cumnock ( just to keep these 2 happy and from killing each other) Hurlford and others that no doubt will be put forward by you readers of this post.We are looking for volunteers to clean up these gruns prior to the FIFA visit and to that end pooper scoopers and thin vinyl gloves will be supplied.Sticks to fend off drug dugs and heavy boots to prevent needlestick injuries will have to be supplied by the volunteers. Obviously the bribes committee will have a dual function ie we accept as well as dole out bribes.and we can be approached by anybody with a piece of land who promises to build a stadium as long as certain conditions are met.Whether the stadium materialises is not the most important criteria , just that the bribes are paid in cash or kind . In the spirit of friendship that the World Cup exudes we must allow our belligerant and less fortunate county cousins a wee slice of the action.I propose they can stage a few group games at the midden but the teams will have to match the environs and clientelle.So if say Engurland/ Iraq/ Iran/Libya/North Korea and Zimbabwe qualify they will play at the midden.I will insist they update there toilet facilities ie a fresh coat of paint on the brick wall behind the railway end shed. There is much to do and I welcome ideas and anybody who wants to join the gravy train or volunteer ( no politicians please you lot would grab most of the dosh)for the plethora of positions on the numerous committes that will undoubtedly spring up please contact me in writing on the back of a 500 euro note Send it to Credit Suisse Bank 21 Lotttadosh Strasse, Corruption House Zurich Eban code..bonbon191869 account no 1920192919971965
Expected better of you Bonbon. How can we take this post seriously when ... ... you don't even specify which of the pitches at the Dean Park would be used for matches
I would propose Portland park to hold a group, that way passers by on the train would get to see some world cup action, the winners could celebrate by running into the sea! KGV could accomodate a few games as well!!
Bonbon Can i suggest we allocate Riccarton Park at least a quarter final? they spent quite a bit a couple of years ago on the play area so with the addition of a burger van, the external ground facilities are fairly advanced in comparison
Good call, Stu. Remember Portland Park is steeped in WC history as it was used by Brazil as part of their training camp for the 1966 finals. I've never seen it, but apparently their is a photo of Pele running out the changing rooms.
there is - theres also a pic in the changing rooms of pele signing the dressing room mirror ......with a lipstick!!!!! We could mimic those pics when Ronaldhino arrives!!
Stu how could I forget Riccarton , scene of my greatest triumph, a sclaff from 2 feet in the semi final of the Kilmarnock & District Boys Brigade cup.I would have nominated Burnpark and Loreny Drive grounds but they have been turned into alternative leisure facilities ie a dumping ground and a junkies needle depository.
In ten years of schoolboy, cub scout, juvenile and amateur football in the Killie area, I was never once lucky enough to play on the hallowed turf of Riccarton Park.
My Dad took me to Portland park when Brazil were there. I played with the Pele fella and his hangers on. Got a signed pennant from him. I was 6 years old and on holiday from Chateauelait, so obviously can't remember a thing about it as I was steamin out ma nut. I would also like to add that it's not true I mention this every time I pass this park
Im sure its only every second time you pass!!! Thats awesome though a signed Pele pennant from his hayday, ill bet the mrs doesnt even let you hang it above the living room mantlepiece where it should be!! My dad mentions that he was playing with Troon Juniors at the time he trained - and he didnt bother trying to get anything signed, doh!!!
In the original post, Bonbon mention Hurlford as a venue, and I assume he meant Blair Park; however I would love to see Richardson Park used in the KO stages, as it would be brilliant to see a penalty shoot-out between the world's best on a pitch where the penalty spot is often a 3 inch deep crater!
I did consider using the red ash pitch at the Loreny Drive end of Shortlees Primary, I recieved many a pusy knee that required the magic of " Wades Salve" that pungent green ointment that your mum thought of as a miracle cure all. Sorry GE never graced Richardson Park but sounda as though it was on a par with Burnpark
