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Off Topic NSFW. Advice about women...

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Heavy Metal Toon, Mar 6, 2011.

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  1. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    <laugh> <applause>
     
    #441
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011
  2. Arfa's Left Foot

    Arfa's Left Foot Active Member

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    <laugh> Class.
     
    #442
    Arfa's Left Foot, Mar 8, 2011
  3. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
    You're ugly but you intrigue me.
    Hey babe, how about you and me going clubbing; and I dont mean baby seals!!
    Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
     
    #443
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011
  4. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    Nice legs&#8230; What time do they open?
    Hey girl you dropped something. &#8216;What?&#8217; - My jaw
    Nice dress, it would look even better on my bedroom floor.
     
    #444
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011
  5. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    Hey honey, I survived malaria last month. Fancy a ****?
     
    #445
    Aldridge_Prior, Mar 8, 2011
  6. beardface

    beardface Active Member

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    Wanna dance?
    'No'
    Cmon, lower your standards, I have
     
    #446
    beardface, Mar 8, 2011
  7. Arfa's Left Foot

    Arfa's Left Foot Active Member

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    Wanna play rape?
     
    #447
    Arfa's Left Foot, Mar 8, 2011
  8. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #448
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011
  9. AH

    AH Active Member

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    Tash could read her a poem
    As an enthusiastic English student, I recommend this one;

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I've got a knife
    Get in the van
     
    #449
    AH, Mar 8, 2011
  10. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    Quality. <ok>

    Roses are straight,
    Violets are twisted,
    Bend over now,
    You're about to get fisted.
     
    #450
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011

  11. AH

    AH Active Member

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    Hahahahaha!!!
    Rep successful! Finally able!
     
    #451
    AH, Mar 8, 2011
  12. Arfa's Left Foot

    Arfa's Left Foot Active Member

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    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Now get outside
    So i can **** you!
     
    #452
    Arfa's Left Foot, Mar 8, 2011
  13. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    Roses are stupid,
    Violets are silly,
    Grease up your flaps,
    Cos here comes my willy.
     
    #453
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011
  14. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    Roses are red,
    Your waffle is blue,
    Get it cleaned up,
    Or no sex for you.
     
    #454
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011
  15. AH

    AH Active Member

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    Think i've accidentally started something else here :p

    I'll think of another in the morning, early night for me, essays to write tomorrow...
    Night all <ok>
     
    #455
    AH, Mar 8, 2011
  16. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    Night mate. <ok>
     
    #456
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011
  17. beardface

    beardface Active Member

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    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I'm using my hand,
    But I'm thinking of you.
     
    #457
    beardface, Mar 8, 2011
  18. Gutierrez's Right Boot

    Gutierrez's Right Boot Well-Known Member

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    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Suck on it woman
    Cause im about to blow
     
    #458
    Gutierrez's Right Boot, Mar 8, 2011
  19. AH

    AH Active Member

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    **** it, this suddenly came to me...not along the whole roses violets route but

    Excuse me dear
    Don't mind me speaking
    But get to a doctor
    Your vagina is leaking

    Or, to make it more sexual

    Get down on your knees
    And quit with the speaking
    Get your chops around this
    Because my penis is leaking

    There's many variations, I'm tired and being at uni today I've had enough of writing poems haha, so ya know. I eagerly await more tomorrow

    It's **** but I thought I'd do another before I ****ed off and left you all
    Now I'm definitely off ha.
    ttfn
     
    #459
    AH, Mar 8, 2011
  20. AsprillasFurCoat

    AsprillasFurCoat Member

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    Roses are red
    But there thorns are all blunt
    I'll show you my bell end
    if you show me your
     
    #460
    AsprillasFurCoat, Mar 8, 2011
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