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Off Topic NSFW. Advice about women...

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Heavy Metal Toon, Mar 6, 2011.

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  1. TheMightyToon

    TheMightyToon Member

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    If your gonna see a movie see a horror - something that gets her scared. She gets scared ****less and clings to you like your some kind of god, the rest will just fall in to place...
     
    #141
    TheMightyToon, Mar 6, 2011
  2. SirBR

    SirBR Active Member

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    By any chance are most of you guys single on here????


    I'm in stitches of laughter some of you guys are ****in genius, e.g. "shout surprise so technically it's not rape" <laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #142
    SirBR, Mar 6, 2011
  3. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    **** it, I'm Stickying this. Funniest thread I've read since the Cheik the room one. Which is ironic considering it was a genuine appeal for help with a sensitive issue.
     
    #143
    u408379965, Mar 6, 2011
  4. TheLittleGeordie

    TheLittleGeordie Active Member

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    Yes how did you know?
     
    #144
    TheLittleGeordie, Mar 6, 2011
  5. NUFCtomw362

    NUFCtomw362 Active Member

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    Haha cheers, i'd rep back but I've been a rep slag today :(

    And yes, I'm single <whistle> wonder why eh :p
     
    #145
    NUFCtomw362, Mar 6, 2011
  6. Speedo

    Speedo Active Member

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    I hope you realise this is the sport known as 'Tash-bating'...
     
    #146
    Speedo, Mar 6, 2011

  7. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    23 members browsing this thread. <ok>
     
    #147
    u408379965, Mar 6, 2011
  8. Cal.

    Cal. Active Member

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    Tell her how much you look up to her.
     
    #148
    Cal., Mar 6, 2011
  9. steviemac14

    steviemac14 Active Member

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    Try "Here pet I'm a trainee dentist, can I practice giving you a filling?"

    Or my personal favourite (never fails):

    The fiver trick - drop a fiver on the floor and say "Is that your fiver?" then when she bends down to pick it up, knee her in the temple and drag her home by the ankles. 100% success rate.
     
    #149
    steviemac14, Mar 6, 2011
  10. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>

    Tried to rep this but got: "You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later."

    That wouldn't do in da hood.
     
    #150
    u408379965, Mar 6, 2011
  11. Geordie Gashead

    Geordie Gashead Active Member

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    Comparing your love to a film is a good one.

    'Sexy MILF Gets ****ed Hard In The Ass' isn't the wisest choice of film, though.
     
    #151
    Geordie Gashead, Mar 6, 2011
  12. Paco Montoya

    Paco Montoya Well-Known Member

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    Try the old yawn and then slowly bring your arm around her shoulders....
     
    #152
    Paco Montoya, Mar 6, 2011
  13. TheMightyToon

    TheMightyToon Member

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    <laugh> Thats brilliant
     
    #153
    TheMightyToon, Mar 6, 2011
  14. AH

    AH Active Member

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    Technically it's only rape if she says no
    Just get the gag in first, and you can just keep knocking those court cases outta the park
     
    #154
    AH, Mar 6, 2011
  15. NUFCtomw362

    NUFCtomw362 Active Member

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    <laugh> <laugh> <laugh> literally lmao'ed there
     
    #155
    NUFCtomw362, Mar 6, 2011
  16. SirBR

    SirBR Active Member

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    Just a guess mate, can't understand why <laugh>
     
    #156
    SirBR, Mar 6, 2011
  17. AH

    AH Active Member

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    a classic, unless you misdirect your arm movement in a dark room and accidentally punch her in the face
    It happens to the best of us I'm afraid
     
    #157
    AH, Mar 6, 2011
  18. Geordie Gashead

    Geordie Gashead Active Member

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    And rob her purse?
     
    #158
    Geordie Gashead, Mar 6, 2011
  19. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    That's why I always target the exchange students. <ok>
     
    #159
    u408379965, Mar 6, 2011
  20. beardface

    beardface Active Member

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    Does she have a pet? If so you should kill it, then she would be vunerable and need comforting.

    Or you could put on a mask and steal her bag, then return it to her a couple of days later saying you saw someone with it, you'd look like a hero.
     
    #160
    beardface, Mar 6, 2011
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