Good mood

**** knows what happened through the night, but I've woke up the day in the best mood I've been in for ****ing ages Sitting in an empty office singing the smiths just now

I think I've finally cracked

 

I was in a ****ty mood yesterday morn. Been passed around this platform like a deformed foster child so far this trip.

Feeling great today because I decided last night that I'm just going to suit myself this trip and every other **** will just have to deal with it.

 

I've been in a **** of a mood this week, mainly down to having a broken foot. I'm genuinely worried about what happened last night

Been to the pisser and noticed marks round my neck. Think I might have had a sleepy chokey ****

 

Could be the strange nippled, moth keeping psycho bird has broken in during the night and contemplated strangling you

 

Maybe that crazy bitch snuck into your house and practiced some sly autoerotic asphyxiation on the pair of you. "Cutting off the gas" so to speak?

 

Thats ****ing creepy you two

 

Think we've found the answer Castle. What do you think? Bet she's got night vision goggles and tin snips. All good stalkers do.

 

The thing is, see if I was to suggest that to her, she would be up for it. I could suggest anything and she would do it I like a bird like that

 

Sounds like my kind of girl. The kind that you can pull a pair of handcuffs out and she's not going to start crying.....I ****ing hate when that happens

 

That's ****ing great, I wish my missus was like that.

I suggested the other day she make the dinner and was told to **** off. I think the spark has gone from the marriage

 

I think it's more that she's desperate to keep me I think if she has any hot pals a threesome is on the cards

 

just make sure the hot pal is a burd

 

And not one of her multiple personalities.

 

The best place to pick up women is outside mental hospitals and psychiatrists offices. FACT!

 

In East Kilbride, obviously

 

When I was about 15, I had a job on an Ice Cream Van. Part of our route took in Dykebar Hospital in Paisley <loony bin>

You used to see some right sights, some were ****in scary.

but I always remember one guy....he was the size of thebig black **** from The Green Mile, except he was ginger haired and freckly as ****, about 45 years old.

He used to sprint to the van, huffing and puffing he would blurt out, Boattllle ooooofff Irnn Bruuuu (imagine a *****l voice). He would step aside open it and drink the ****er without taking a breath, then back with the empty bottle saying...gieeeesss a 10ppppp mixtuuure. ****ing funny big nutter he was

 

So you've met LR's dad a few times then Castle?

 

he was never allowed glass bottles

 

Just like me and real scissors.