Hurts when I blink, hurts when I think, hurts when I cough, hurts when I talk, hurts when I talk Got back from work about 6, one of the boozers was already heaving with a DJ playing away. Got dressed & headed up with a few pals. Unsure of which boozer to go but the riot van pulling up at one of the choices sort of settled it for us Had a few beers with my pals then the mrs rang up to tell me to go to the Irish Quarter where was with her mate. Some live music on, playing allsorts of Irish music. Mrs' mate wanted to head back home so we necked our drinks & were just about to walk out when some bald guy who only reached my shoulder barged in & started telling my mrs how gorgeous she was. Then he started asking where she was from, what she did etc. The mrs said she was with me & looked after my son.......little bald **** turns to me and says "so she;s just your sons mother? Thats what she said" Very funny you prick. A little headbutt went in to his face & fist was ready to uppercut the **** & take his jaw out when he said something (couldn't understand what) & I noticed how ****ing badhis breath was!! I just wafted the smell away & shouted "FFS your breath stinks you little tramp" & walked out with the whole boozer staring at him I was quite proud that I didn;t hit him. Its probably the first time I haven;t been violent in that situation. The bellend followed us down the road as we were waiting for a taxi & got on his phone "Paddy get down here some ****s just told me I;ve got bad breath" Still can't work out was he was trying to do. He was with a bird all night & she didn't look to happy about it all. If he was just doing it to be a prick & wind us up it was an epic fail!!
Here's 'the little bald prick' with Brum's missus, before he comes steamin in and tries to headbutt the wee guy!!
Yeah. The mrs kept shouting he was a leprochaun Sounded like he was from Dublin or some ****ty free state place like that. Still can't work out whether he was really chatting her up or just being a knob & trying to wind us up.
Was thinking that nev. How could you explain the horrible ****ing breath though!!! I was having a shot with every beer, the mrs had a curry but we didn;t ****ing reek like that. It felt good to be able to win without violence
cork has a good accent. met a few good lads from there in Oz, one of them did a ****e in our room bollock naked at 5am steamin drunk. turned the light on and he woke up. 1 of the funniest moments of ma life
**** you Anport I was in Henneseys - you ever go there? Right by the police station. Full of plastic ****s, half the ****s didn;t know the words to the majority of the songs & I was the only **** who knew all the words to Fields Of Athenrye ****s looking at me funny when I shouted Sinn Fein......IRA. **** knows why its them that don;t the whole song.
Thought a cup of tea might do the trick but I just feel worse!!! Baking a **** - the best medicine of all
are you sure you weren`t accosted by noel edmonds putting on a fake accent ? this could have been secretly filmed for his new show " multi-coloured wife swap "
He is already dead.........well , more accurately , one of the undead. nosferatu....practically an anagram of noel edmunds , apart from the missing letters
Gonna be busy as **** tomorrow too sorting all my work stuff out so the boss can take over my workload. He just went all Ricky Gervais on me "Staff are judged not by the work they do whilst in the job but by the way they leave" Thought he was gonna get a guitar out & sing me a ****ing Desree song!!
