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"Speak up Mrs Brown, you're through..."

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Hugh Briss, Oct 19, 2011.

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  1. User Deleted

    User Deleted Well-Known Member

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    i was outraged the other day when i found out there was a black man on our family tree.

    but now i've calmed down, i have to admit he looks quite good hanging there
     
    #61
    User Deleted, Nov 24, 2011
  2. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #62
    Hugh Briss, Nov 24, 2011
  3. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    While working at the samaritans, I got a call from a bloke who said he was 'going to end it all'.

    He was going to pour a gallon of petrol over himself and light a match.

    I said to him: "Ahmed, it's times like these when you need your family around you"
     
    #63
    Hugh Briss, Nov 25, 2011
  4. Robby202

    Robby202 Well-Known Member

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    During the rehearsals for the Olympic 100 metre finals the Asian starter was found shot dead with his starting pistol. The police believe it was race related.
     
    #64
    Robby202, Nov 25, 2011
  5. Chancer

    Chancer Member

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    My missus has just hired an Eastern european cleaner.
    ****ing shocking

    Took her four hours to hoover the house

    Turns out she was a Slovak............

    <doh>
     
    #65
    Chancer, Nov 25, 2011
  6. MrWright!

    MrWright! Active Member

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    We could save everybody some time and effort and just put a link to sickipedia.....................
     
    #66
    MrWright!, Nov 25, 2011
  7. Nazara

    Nazara Active Member

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    But you're not even the real Joker.....
    <wah>
     
    #67
    Nazara, Nov 25, 2011
  8. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    <grr>... how DARE you doubt me!
     
    #68
    Hugh Briss, Nov 26, 2011
  9. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    Or better still, save yourself some time and don't bother posting at all. <ok>
     
    #69
    Hugh Briss, Nov 26, 2011
  10. MrWright!

    MrWright! Active Member

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    how about suck on my hairy bollocks you fat ****!
    ill stab you in the ass an slice you open you mug!

    <3
     
    #70
    MrWright!, Nov 26, 2011

  11. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    Wow! A real-life internet Rambo! <laugh> ...****ing tool.
     
    #71
    Hugh Briss, Nov 26, 2011
  12. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    Wallet Scam Warning!

    In Asda, whilst packing shopping into the car, you may be approached by 2 fit, 18-year old girls in tight, tiny tops.
    They wash your windscreen with their tits up against the window and ask for a lift to the next Asda as payment.

    On the way, they will strip down and perform oral sex on each other. One will then climb into the front and suck you off while the other attempts to steal your wallet!.

    I had mine stolen last Thursday, Friday, Saturday, twice on Sunday and once again today so be careful!.

    PS; You can buy wallets for 99p in Poundstretchers.
     
    #72
    Hugh Briss, Dec 27, 2011
  13. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    Joker in **** thread bump shame
     
    #73
    Toby, Dec 27, 2011
  14. SUPERNORWICH 23

    SUPERNORWICH 23 SUPERNORWICH

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    #<can`tspellrentboywithouttoby>sn23
     
    #74
    SUPERNORWICH 23, Dec 27, 2011
  15. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    I have just started a relationship with a blind woman.

    It's very rewarding but also quite challenging.

    It took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
     
    #75
    Hugh Briss, Jan 10, 2012
  16. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    This. <ok>
     
    #76
    Toby, Jan 10, 2012
  17. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    It will surprise nobody to find you agreeing with yourself. <ok>
     
    #77
    Hugh Briss, Jan 10, 2012
  18. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    I got drunk at the office party and shagged an ugly Chinese girl in the lift. I know, I know... I was ****ing Wong on so many levels.
     
    #78
    Hugh Briss, Jan 10, 2012
  19. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    Poor old Bob Holness, only been at the pearly gates five minutes, when Amy Whinehouse stumbles over and asks "Can I have an E please Bob?".
     
    #79
    Hugh Briss, Jan 10, 2012
  20. Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction

    Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction Well-Known Member

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    Stop bumping this ****e thread
     
    #80
    Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction, Jan 10, 2012
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