Really dont know what to say so this will probably end as some ramble.. i remember a while back when this chap made a thread about janie, it came at a crazy time in my life, my brother was in the hospital fighting for his life, he got taken into hospital after a routine appointment and put into a medically induced coma within 24 hours of being admitted 3 weeks later i got told to expect the worst, the docs told us there was a chance that they was going to reach a point where they could literally do no more. Me and my brother had a very turbulent relationship, we took each other for granted, took our lives for granted, we argued almost every day. when this happened i honestly have never been so scared and upset in all my life. for those 3 weeks i cried myself to sleep every night except for the night when i got told the docs thought he wasn't going to pull through.. that was the night i stood up for my brother in a way.. always been an atheist... but i told myself if there is a god hes not taking him from us because when my time comes there will be hell to pay. i didn't put my faith in any god that night.. i put it into my bro to pull through, it may sound like a fairy tail.. and some may say it is but the very next day my brother woke up... few months later im here.. my bro is in his room wrapped up in bed sleeping ready for Christmas and i couldn't be more grateful and happy... then i look here and remember about billy and janie.. and its hard to take in why i have my bro and billy doesnt have janie... why... i dont know how life can be so beautiful one minute and then so merciless the next... im still an athiest and try to think of life logically and statistics and percentages or whatever.. basically anything to help me understand it all. truth is we will probably never ever know how the world and life works. and its up to us to take charge of ourselves and live every minute like its our last, really guys you do not know whats around the next corner and how it will turn out. i just want to end by saying sorry to billy i dont know how life was so merciful to me and my family and not to you, i wish i could explain it, i wish alot of things.. id happily sacrifice years of my life for you to just spend Christmas day one more time with janie. ive had the biggest gift of my life already given. and i honestly would give a lot for you to be given a gift just as grand as i have received. unfortunatly for me i dont have that power.. but come new year i have a resolution that could be of comfort for not just billy but everyone else.. im going to make the effort to be thankful for my gift of a brother. and try my best to make the most of every day i have and every second i get to spend with my bro. i dont want to be wasteful anymore and every bit of my life that im not making the most of i will make an effort to think of those who wasn't as lucky as us.. to think of people like janie and billy who didnt get that break like i was given.. if life didn't give them that chance of living the rest of there life as happily as it could have been then i will spend moments of my life remembering and honoring those who were not as fortunate. R.I.P Janie. And billy if there is a god.. i guarantee you i will give him a good slap for you and for janie after ive given him a hug for the gift he gave us. Merry Christmas mate, i hope life from now on will be the best it can be for you. you have suffered a pain so great it could span many lifetimes.
Mate, I really don't know how to respond to that. True feelings come from the heart & that was indeed heart felt. I once said to Jovic Joe that I hoped I died before Janie or any of my kids. I never got the wish. I have been to over 40 funerals in my time, a lot were to forces lads, Janie's death has had a massive affect on me bro & I will never be the same man again. If it wernt for my kids, I would have lost the will to live, cheers mate, I have total respect for you. Take care marra.
you really dont have to say anything mate. only thing i would ask of you is to enjoy what you have left in life.. and be a dad to the little un's.. its a gift from janie and through them, and you, she will live on.. they are a part of you both. just cherish every minute with them, just like janie would. in the end we will all eventually be in the same place together.. just some of us get there sooner than the others. but they are always around in our hearts and when our time comes i honestly believe they will be waiting. the longer you and the kids live and enjoy life, the longer janie will live with you, mate. just carry on as best as you can and do her proud.
i know 100% you really do think that mate, and if janie was in your shoes i think she would defiantly think the same thing, mate. i bet you she is looking at you now wanting give you a slap for daring to mention swapping places, lol you obviously meant the world to each other and would give anything for each other. the best thing you really can do now mate is do what janie would have wanted, and i think that would be to give everything she had, for you and the kids. live life mate.. be the happiest you can possibly be. and just make sure your kids grow to be as special as janie was. ill try not to post anymore on this thread tonight... its obviously hard for you and if you are still awake ill just say to get some sleep.. its going to be hard but enjoy the day as best as you can. janie will be with you all mate. just do her proud, that's all she will want. Best Wishes
Billy..I know it's a hard time for you right now mate, but those words from Toon Tiger are really worth taking notice of mate...I dare bet your family love you to bits and would hate the thought of a world without you....
That is true but I just don't know if I can go on living a lie. Anyhow, I bloody knackered, gonna have a couple of hours kip.
Wow. All the best mate, and you too Billy, I think you been in all our thoughts at some point today marra.
Don't think I've read a thread with so much righteous emotion, got a lump in me throat. Toon Tiger, lovely words eloquently put. I can't match that but just want to say my thoughts were with you today Billy but I'm obviously not the only one. Take care mate and look after them bairns Andy
