Been out today to pick a few things up for our team and some others Here are a few of the things i brought Bart - A blanket to keep him warm on the bench for the next few seasons De Ridder - A Pass (he can use it any time anywhere) Cortese - Anything he blooming well wants Nigel Adkins - A Chesney Hawkes single - Altogether now -I am the one and only Team coach driver - AA map for next season including places like Liverpool and Manchester Billy Sharpe - Registration as a Saints player Arsene Wenger - A grow your own superstar kit Steve Keen - Mission impossible dvd West Ham Fans - Neck braces Pompey fans - soap Sepp Blater - Ticket to the moon Question is - What would you buy and for Who?
I would buy Pompey fans a telescope so that they can keep watching our spectacular rise up the football ladder. I'll buy Jason Puncheon a large slice of humble pie, hope that he doesn't choke on it!...
Kevin phillips' wife - a dildo Gus poyet - a book on how to speak English ( never understand what he says ever) Saints squad - wilkinson quattro
Gotta love Balotelli ! Sorry for changing subject a bit but mate posted this on facebook earlier: WHY I ****ING LOVE MARIO BALOTELLI >Survived a usually fatal disease at birth >£10,000 in parking fines >Car impounded 27 times >£300,000 fine for throwing darts at the youth team >Won £25,000 in a casino, gave £1,000 to a tramp outside >Rescued a child from bullying >Threw tomatoes at some Serie A manager >Threw water balloons at Serie A meeting >Started a fight with 4 bouncers, after breaking the no touching rule at a strip club >Thinks milk with tea is strange >Bibotelli saga >Had a £120,000 Audi R8 imported and wrote it off within a week >Had his friends approach girls in clubs and say "Balotelli will see you now." >Sent to John Lewis by his mother to buy essentials for the house, like an ironing board >Came back with a giant trampoline and a Vespa and Scalectrix >Started fights with Kompany, Boateng and Tevez at training >Was frequently seen at the AC Milan superstore while playing for inter >Went on TV in an AC shirt with his name on while at inter >U21s game for Italy, kicks a swedish player while he's down and proceeds to just sit on the pitch ignoring the opposition and the referee for about a minute. >Is then offended when he gets sent off and protests about it >He winked at Ferdinand at the semi final of the FA cup and celebrate in front of the Man U fans. >After the FA cup final, on live TV, says "This season I have been s***. Can I say that?" >Was stopped by police driving round Hulme (a real craphole) in his maserati with £25,000 cash on the passenger seat. When asked why he said "because I'm rich" >Had to go off at half time in a game in Ukraine due to an allergy to the pitch >Had to be physically hauled away by Zanetti for refusing to let Samuel Eto'o take a penalty that he had won >Once broke up with a girlfriend via text while she was presenting a live television show >Slept with a model while his girlfriend was asleep downstairs >*** mental chicken hat >When he won the European Golden Boy trophy, said he had never heard of Jack Wilshere >Said he would find out who he was so he could remind Wilshere he came second >Drove his car into a women's prison so he could have a look around >Swore on live TV after the FA cup final >Attempted a roulette back heel shot against LA Galaxy and missed >Connections with the Naples Mafia, he even testified in court at a Mafia trial >Brought iPad to bench during International friendly. >Set house on fire using fireworks >Said only Messi is "a little stronger" than him, and he is better than all other players >"Why always me?" shirt, made for him by City kitman Chappy >Drove around Manchester high fiving city fans from his car the day after >1-6 >Became the face of a firework safety campaign days after setting his house on fire >Hands £20 notes out to strangers when in Manchester >Chanted Rooney! Rooney! at the prostitute who claimed to have slept with Wayne Say what you want about him, but he's a LAD!
Kenny Dalglish - Subtitles Peter Ridsdale - "Oops I did it again" Britney's greatest hits along with London Edition of Monopoly including five get out of jail free cards John Terry - A big pointy white hat Harry Redknapp - "How to complete your self-assessment" A guide from HMRC Titus Bramble - 101 great chat up lines Gus Poyet - A mirror Robert Huth/Ryan Shawcross - A box at Twickenham
This is all absolutely brilliant and your right what a lad, if I ever Need a "phone a friend" on a question regarding Mario Balotelli I will know who to call! Great laugh, well done!!!
Just read this aswell, which you could add to the list: In December 2011, Balotelli broke a 48-hour curfew before City's game against Chelsea to go to a curry house, although he "was not drinking alcohol, signed autographs, posed for pictures with fellow diners and was involved in a mock sword-fight using rolling pins". The club launched an internal investigation and he could face disciplinary action. The guy's a nutter! For his antics, he has to be the most entertaining player in the world right now! A real character, no doubt about it!
