I didn't want to come clean on this at first, so I thought I'd wait until the passions of Wednesday night had calmed a little. It's all my fault. Any of you who listen to Danny Baker's phone in show on Radio 5 Live may know his phenomenon of 'Nothing can go wrong now'. If a team sets up a seemingly un-pull-backable lead, he dares fans to stand and loudly claim 'Nothing can go wrong now'. His listeners have subsequently supplied numerous stories of doing that only to see the wheels fall off. Now, I'm not a superstitious man but when Mrs Captain starts joking about saying it when Fulham are winning, I never let her get the words out of her mouth, and I would certainly never utter them myself. But here's the thing... On Wednesday night, I was sat in front of the telly, watching the game. Half time rolls around and I was feeling like the danger had passed. All we had to do was see things through, maybe running in a goal or two in the second half to get warmed up for Bolton. Mrs Captain, meanwhile, was in the kitchen baking some biscuits. Have I ever mentioned Mrs Captain's biscuits? They really are spectacularly good. I'd go so far as to say they are the nicest home-made biscuits I have ever encountered. She usually bakes gazillions of them at Christmas to give as presents to our boys' teachers, and she tends to guard them jealously. Looking for an angle that might get past her defences and earn me a precious biscuit, I asked, 'Any chance of a celebratory biscuit?' Quick as a flash, Mrs Captain retorts, 'Celebratory? Are you celebrating already. That sounds suspicously like you're saying "Noth..." '. I didn't let her finish the sentence, but the damage had already been done by my ill-thought request. It was me. I put the mockers on our Europa League campaign. It's time to stop lambasting Martin Jol, Bobby Zamora, Orlando Sa and all (well, maybe not Orlando Sa). I stand before you a penitent man.
Haha forget cries of 'Jol out' or 'sell Zamora in January,' lets start the campaign to get the captain off not606!
Thank God it was you. I thought it was me - I wrote this on Tuesday in the "Odense Lineup" post Shows what I know.
Aha! Your 'crime' came before mine - that means that I can't be the prime cause of what happened. A half-decent lawyer will tie the prosecution up in knots with the chronology of this. How can it be I who angered the deities of football when my brother DR was first to take things for granted? And with a single bound, he was free!
Actually, I was thinking of another place. Here's the joke: An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and, not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell. It doesn't take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell. He soon begins to design and build improvements. Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day, God calls Satan and says with a sneer: So, how are things in Hell? Satan replies: Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators. And there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next. What! God exclaims: You've got an engineer? That's a mistake, he should never have been sent to Hell. Send him to me. Not a chance, Satan replies: I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him! God insists: Send him back or I'll sue! Satan laughs uproariously and answers: Yeah, right. And where are you going to get a lawyer?
So it was your fault after all - There had to be a reason for our second half performance. Demotion to Lieutenant would seem in order. However, maybe it's a first offence, so I'll continue to say Aye Capt'n. But first..... We have Bolton tomorrow, let me check that you weren't at a certain home match (maybe almost 20 years ago), taking the lead against the them and losing 1-4. If we take the lead tomorrow, SSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! C O Y W
Captain you deserve no more cookies unless we get 6 points from the next 3 games! So pray this happens before Xmas!
2-0, so I trust that Mrs Captain is keeping you in check. And well done to the Boys for the first half.
For the record, at half time today with us leading 2-0, I went nowhere near the biscuit tin. If I was to blame last time, does that mean I get to claim some of the credit today?
I can confirm that I was not present at the game of which you speak. I was there when they put us out of the cup last season though.
Captain. Please don`t think this is a facetious question,but what happened to Danny Inge who,I believe was one of your potential, possibles, for the future.
He's still a 'potential possible, for the future.' He's only 19 and is at Burnley. He hasn't played for their first team yet, but that doesn't mean he's not developing. If you recall, I said that he wasn't necessarily one for us (or, as it turns out Burnley) to buy and put straight into the first team, but the lad's got something. He's back with the manager who first brought it out of him at Bournemouth, and I think in the next five years or so we'll hear something of him. If he hasn't made some kind of first team breakthrough by 2017, feel free to remind me!
