The old bloke's dilemma reminds me of a song from the sixties about Charlie, a man who got stuck on the Boston underground rail system, forever. He didn't have the fare to get off. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VMSGrY-IlU
I'm not surprised he got lost in South London. Sat Nav doesn't work on the dark side, the South Circular Road is a myth, and none of the traffic lights work cos the locals keep nicking the cables to sell for scrap.