The it’s ok to not be ok thread

There is a lot going on for you at the moment Becs, sometimes life throws curved balls and presents problems that we find difficult to navigate.

You appear to be a very astute person so you will know all about prioritising and gradually working your way though your issues. You will also know that moral support is here if you need it, just reach out

Hopefully everything gets sorted soon, take care

 

Bloody hell becs, that’s an awful lot to be dealing with all at the same time.

All I can offer is what was suggested to a now departed mate when he had a similar (albeit not as all encompassing as yours seems to be) situation to yours.

The priority has to be your health, if you can get that sorted the other things can be sorted as well. Others have suggested that you may be able to claim some assistance for it. Is there a GP/Health Professional who can point you in the right direction ?

My mate was advised to deal with things in a sort of bite size priority order, so in your case it could be health, then the immediate practical implications of sorting your heating and car as you will need to have those both working properly.

Hope things turn for the better for you soon.

 

That is really tough @becs. Hopefully even writing it down has helped. There are not as many on here but are very supportive - I agree RTG can be supportive as it was or me. Just keep reaching out on here - someone will always respond

 

No I've looked into it but there's nothing. There's PIP but it asks things like do you need help getting washed and do you need help cooking food. I can manage doing stuff like that so I'd not score enough points to claim anything.

If I had a bit extra coming in from somewhere, I wouldn't need to work as many hours per week and that would help a lot.

My job is physical and involves heavy lifting at times. I'm also looking for a work from home desk job as I think that would help both my health and my work/life balance.

 

In my low informed-knowledge opinion the system needs adjusting to help those like yourself who are grafting despite health problems. Ease the load a bit.

The home desk job sounds good. Maybe a mix of home and office if the social side of work is something you enjoy.

 

Tough day today. Mams birthday that she wasnt looking forward to.

We made a big fuss, got her some flowers first thing this morning, ange took her out this morning then we had her round for her birthday tea and cake with the kids.

She just looks a bit lost

 

Reply copied from other thread.....

Maybe posted in the wrong thread mate?

I can imagine it been a tough day, the firsts of anything are always the hardest. Sounds like she has a loving family around her, she'll be thankful for that.

 

Yeah, ive edited the other posters mate.

I hope so, just feels like at times we cant do enough and its hard seeing her like this

 

My Mam went through about a year of being lost after we lost my Dad. I was worried about her.

She started volunteering and she's now involved with a toddler group, an old folks group, she joined a choir and she does some other stuff at the Church. She's always got things on the go, like she's currently knitting ghosts for some Halloween thing she's helping with.

Can you find local stuff she might like to attend and ease her back into things?

 

We keep suggesting things, but she seems reluctant to try them, think shes just in a bit of a rut.

She just seems a bit flustered by everything, I guess not having dad there to reassure her isnt helping. I do think she feels like she is a burden is also getting her down and no matter how many times we say its not a problem and we actually enjoy doing things with her, shes always been used to it being her and dad independent of us

 

Very reminiscent of my Dad after my Mam died, we tried to get him interested in other things both with and without us.
He did get involved in stuff with school reunions, shipyard workers reunions and computer classes for short period of time but as well as being stubborn, he never really got over losing Mam and gradually stopped going to all of them including going to the match when previously he wouldn’t have dreamed of not attending.

I must stress though mate, my Dad was in his 80’s at the time and from what you’ve posted previously your Mam is twenty years or more younger than he was.

All you can do is keep trying, it’s still all new and raw for her but it’s right to support her as you are doing and hopefully she will find some wider interests in time.

Fingers crossed for you and your family mate.

 

@ab65 my mam would be over the moon that someone thinks shes in her 60's, she was 74 yesterday!

On a positive note shes coming to the match Saturday with us all

 

She’s still in her prime then mate.

Hope you all have a great day tomorrow and the lads get 3 points for her.