Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

Great headline
…even better story!!!

 

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What the **** has this country turned into.

 

He thinks he is a good salesman. I sold him a dog which was actually a baby Alligator. Actually swapped it for 2 golden tickets. Good deal I think..

 

The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any undies?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any."
The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's £20. Go and buy yourself some underwear."
Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she too is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman!
You've no undies. Why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency,
here's £10. Go and buy yourself some underwear!"
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. "Sweet mudder of Jesus, Aggie!
Where are yer drawers?" She too explains, "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any."
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says,
"Well, fer the love 'o Jesus, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit!"

 

Any bass guitar players on here want to share some straightforward bass lines.
I am currently playing God save the Queen by Sex Pistols which is quite easy if that is your sort of music.