A doctor's toilet was blocked so he rang the plumber. The plumber said: "It's early hours of the morning can't it wait?" The doc said: "If you were ill I'd have to come out". The plumber said: "Fair enough" and called at the docs. He lifted the toilet seat and threw in two paracetamol and said: "Give it a few days and if it's still the same give me a call"
I was sitting on a bench in the park next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way. He said "Up until last week I had it all,a cook who cooked my meals, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed and ironed, I had a roof over my head, TV, Internet, I went to the gym every day the pool, the library and I could still go to school." I asked him, "What happened? was it drugs? alcohol? divorce?" He replied "Oh no, nothing like that" he said. "No, no....I just got out of prison !"