Off Topic The dying Swan ~ Joke thread

When I see lovers' names carved into a tree, I don't think it's cute.

I just think it's strange how many people take knives on a date.

 

I miss the old days when
bills didn't
have my name on them.

 

Apparently I snore so loudly it terrifies everyone in the car I'm driving.

 

I was walking past my fridge last night and thought I heard two onions singing a Bee Gees song.
But when I opened the door, it was just chives talking.

 

My pet mouse Elvis died today.
He was caught in a trap!

 

So what's your number 2 favourite?

 

I can't stop thinking about the couple who lives in the next block.


Dai and Ria.

 

Constipation is the thief of time.

But diarrhea waits for no man.