Des McLean

Went on Friday night with the missus, it was mostly ****e!!

Even 3 hours drinking prior to the event didn't help

And get this, the wife is all angry at me for not enjoying it enough, what the **** is that about.

At one point she nudged me and said "Why aren't you laughing?", to which I apparantley answered to loudly with, " I'm waiting for a ****ing funny bit"

If you want to feel some of my pain, it was filmed and 1 hour of it will be shown on STV this Tuesday night at 10.40pm.

The editor will need to be a ****in magician to make it look good

Oh aye, and it was £3.75 for a not very col bottle of Miller, dirty robbin bastards

 

****in hell, a cudnt think of anythin worse. genuinely feel sorry for ye and a dont even know ye.

 

That sounds like one of the worst ever Fridays. Gutted mate. At least it's over now

 

****in roll on this Saturday...Frankie Boyle with my mates...McLean will be totally forgotten

 

that shud be better. he's a funny guy.

 

Went to see Jim Jeffries last night. Now that's a comedian

Only problem was he ended up running an hour late so didn;t get the full set Stil funny though.
The set was mostly about trying to get his mate with a muscular disease his hole at a brothel

The only problem was I ended up going to the dancing (common) afterwards. Got in at 4 this morning and now I'm in work fresh as a daisy!

 

The funniest thing at the gig was standing behind Michelle McManus in the queue for the bar. I dont know who told her that a skin tight number was a good idea...**** me, she is one big ugly lassie!

 

She is one embarrassing human being. Have you ever saw her with that gonk doing that te time show? My ****ing god I just wish she would take a cardiac arrest and give us peace. She might still do but she use to drink in the shed. man she cn rattle the bevvy!!!

 

was billy brown the warm up act ??

 

Bollo

They done a wee tee time show mock video thing at the start of the show, it was her and Des McLean (he was doing a poor Billy Connolly impression) and they were discussing whether you like doing a jobby at night or in the morning. Michelle preferred the morning. ****in brutal.

there are better and funnier jobby discussions on here

 

I've stop telling folk about last night as the Hearts manager jokes are becoming tedious now. Although I must have used that joke a millions times in the past month

Oh I feel sick

 

The guy just ain't funny is he and his impressions of people are just poor. He's far too nasaly and just doesn;t sound right at all!

 

you need a pale ale , a roll/square sausage + a ***( as in cigarette )

 

So far I've had about a litre and a half of coffee, sauasge and egg mcmuffin and a (make or break) ciggie and passed (just).

All that's left now is to try to relax and wait for the horrors to kick in

 

Can of chilled pepsi max & as many ciggies as you can fit in

 

when in those desperate straits at work I used to swear by a roll on salt and vinegar square crisps , tea and/or flat irn-bru

 

Just kill yourself Bollo.

Life wont get any better for you, you've peaked early. Life offers nothing more than what you are currently feeling.

DO IT.

 

Ciggie overload? I'm on the diet irnbru but i don;t think i could have a ciggie!!!

 

flat irn bru is a winner

used to always open a can and leave it next to the bed for when i woke up, drunken lone ranger is a top bloke

 

Diet???? If anything I'd suggest Cheryy Coke - get some sugar in your system to fix you up.

But to you I suggest a chokey **** in the works loo.