Mick and Paddy are walking past a sign outside a forest that say's 'Tree men wanted' Paddy turns to Mick and says "It's a pity that Sean wasn't with us . . . . we could have applied for that job"
I urge you to take care of yourself and avoid accidents because spare parts for old models like us are no longer in stock.
Just passed an ex in town who clearly still has fond memories of me. As we passed, I heard her whisper to her mate, "What a cock!!"
Wife: Let’s go out and have fun tonight! Husband: Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on.
My wife's best friend got drunk last night and came onto me. Now, in the cold light of day I'm finding it hard to come to terms with what I've done. Why the f*ck did I say no?
Last night I told my wife I was feeling horny. "Well, we can soon sort that out," she said with a wink, and slowly undressed. F*ck me, she was right... I stopped feeling horny immediately!
