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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Yesterday, a 45-year-old man was going to bed heard thieves in his garage.
    He called the police. Unfortunately, the officer on the phone told him they don't have any police officers free at the moment.
    The guy hung up and then called again in a moment and tells the officer:
    - it’s about these thieves in my garage.
    Don't bother coming anymore Ive shot them.
    After literally 2 minutes, 4 police cars, Armed response, counter terrorists, ambulances,..... Thieves were obviously caught.
    Police officers had a chat with the gentleman
    Officer says - “ You said you shot them! “
    Gentlemen - “ And you said you don't have a free police car “ ..
     
    #18322
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I used to work with a guy called Ewan Huzami.

    Nice man, but always getting into fights for some reason.....
     
    #18323
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #18324
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #18325
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The gardener couldn’t stop swearing.

    He had irritable trowel syndrome.....
     
    #18326
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Beware of online Valentines Day scams!

    My husband ordered jewellery but they sent fishing gear.
     
    #18327
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    If you’re over 50 you’re basically rich!

    Silver in your hair.
    Gold in your teeth.
    Crystals in your kidneys and an abundance of natural gas.
     
    #18328
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    If you’re over 50 you’re basically rich!

    Silver in your hair.
    Gold in your teeth.
    Crystals in your kidneys and an abundance of natural gas.
     
    #18329
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #18330
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  11. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    #18331
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  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #18333
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    So watching a porn film with the wife, I said why don't you scream and shout when you're having an orgasm?

    She said well I do, but you're never there at the time.....
     
    #18334
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The distance between ladder rungs has increased by 5%.

    This is due to an increase in the height of our population.

    Experts have put this down to 'Climb it Change'.
     
    #18335
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #18336
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #18337
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    So watching a porn film with the wife, I said why don't you scream and shout when you're having an orgasm?

    She said well I do, but you're never there at the time.....
     
    #18338
  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Did she tell you twice
     
    #18339
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  20. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    You got the last bit right……
     
    #18340
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