My son got one of those with the intention of going to a Halloween party as Kendrick Lamar. Somewhere down the line he realised it's probably not a great idea.
A couple went Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed. As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. Being so worried she called him on her mobile to ask him where he was. In a calm voice, the husband said, “Honey, you remember the jewellery store we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day.” The wife choked up and started to cry said, “Yes, I remember that jewellery store.” “Well, I’m in the bar right next to it.”
A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee, when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery: A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said: “I am so sorry for your loss and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?” “My wife’s.” ”What happened to her?” “She yelled at me and my dog attacked her.” He inquired further. “But who is in the second hearse?” The man answered. “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.” A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men. “Can I borrow the dog?” The man replied. “Get in line.”
