Monday 2nd December 2024. Time 1130 Staplewood, Martins office Phone rings RA: Rusty! It's the razz-meister! You good Pal? RM: On cloud nine Razz, on cloud nine. RA: Still celebrating that point against Brighton? RM: Mate, a draw was the perfect result! Here’s a secret: Draws are just wins in disguise. Sure, It’s not the sweet taste of victory, but it ****ing beats the bitter aftertaste of another fisting. Besides I'm hoping to manage Brighton one day and don't want to upset the locals RA: Hmmmm, yeah. RM: (Not listening) When you win, everyone expects you to do it again. The media, the fans, your own players—suddenly there’s pressure. “Can we keep up the momentum? Can we win the next game? Can we prove this wasn’t a fluke?” But when you draw, well, no one expects **** all more..... RA: Besides we're blaming VAR anyway right? RM: (Does double finger guns and makes a clicking noise.) Exactly. RA: So what's the plan for the lads today? RM: Right, well I've got Tall Paul out on the pitch already RA: Excellent, you've seen the light on Paul, truly has the ability to kickstart some much needed wins. The mans up for a Puskas award! So what's he doing? Shooting practice? Touch and go? Sprints? RM: No, I've decided the goals are an unnecessary distraction. When those idiots are looking at the goals they're thinking about shooting, not passing. Not on my watch they don't. I'm having them removed and Paul is the only one who can reach the cross bar. Listen, the fans loved him against Liverpool, they strongly implied that him not playing was some sort of failure on my part. Not having it. When there's an award for retaining possession he'll be back training with the boys, until then he's "injured" RA: Right..... RM: I get it. It's unorthodox, it's unusual, it's..... RA: It's bloody genius is what it is! RM: I knew you of all people would understand. RA: And the rest of the investments, Sorry, players? RM: In the canteen. Jack bought one of those moody projectors from the market in Shirley. I've got it set up and they're going to spend the day watching fatal attraction, lord of the rings, and nightmare hoarders on channel 5. RA: Eh? RM: Possession. They need to see what really possessive people look like, act like, are. Observe people who really want to keep stuff. They need to breath it in. If they witness it done with people, rings and bottles of 5 year old piss, they can do it with a ball. They need to understand when your team can keep possession, you're controlling the game, you're the DJ at a party and everyone else is just dancing to your beat. The longer you hold onto the ball, the more the other team starts to get tired, frustrated, and confused. Like a cat watching a laser pointer, They'll be running around, not sure who to chase, while you're just hanging out, sipping your possession latte, knowing you're the greatest manager in the world. RA: They'll never understand people like us, I'm so glad I found you RM: Well Razz, as I've always said,Vision is the art of seeing the invisible, and you are a visionary. <A Loud zipping noise echoes down the telephone line> RA: (Breathlessly) What, what did you say? RM: You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus RA.......One more Russ, pleaaassee RM: Capital isn’t scarce; vision is. RA: (Reality slapping him in the face immediately) Yeah, about that....give it 'till May and we'll see that definitely isn't the case. RM: What do you mean? RA........... RM:.......... RA: Bye!
I know what you're all thinking; Lincs we're still on the old thread. Let us bask in Martins brilliance a little longer before making a new thread for our first real tonking of the season. Well tough tits, I'm going on to nights tomorrow so would probably forget. Loading would step up and we'd only go and beat them. My ego couldn't take it so enjoy my last thread of the season. I'm pretty sure the entire squad is injured/suspended so **** knows what the team will look like. 0-7
No idea what the team is gonna look like for this one. Could get very messy. Lincs you might need to cancel your night shifts and get your boots out.
**** VAR (Brighton only PL fred I've not posted that on this season and we get the worst stoppage by far )
We’ll smash em! lumley KWP THB stephens manning Ugochukwu Aribo Dibling Fernandez Archer TP That’s about the best I can come up with
I know that Lesley's loan can't officially be terminated until 1 January (assuming that a break clause is included in the deal), but he might as well get a lift back with Chelsea after the game. Typical that the game we need him for most is the game he's ineligible for.
Smallbone is out too isn't he? Aribo is literally our only first team midfielder available? And he really struggles with 90 minutes. We're so ****ed for this game
Mate, I’m praying for an unbeaten run now. It would mean having to keep floppy Nathan, but worth it for your threads.
Captain Shoehorn and Aribo in mid. Though we’re missing a CB too in THB. Yikes. Wood and Edwards at CB
Taylor might be able to do a job in midfield, but Russ has decided he doesn’t like him for Russ reasons. It’ll be KWP at DM with Bree RB. Or something mental.
Yeah that's what I mean we can't even really put Jack in midfield. One of Wood/Edwards will have to play but we'll surely want to avoid both. Manning in midfield maybe like at Arsenal? Not sure that works without a proper DM though really. I repeat. We're so ****ed
I wouldn't be surprised if Bree or Manning end up filling in at CM. But whoever it is, it's not going to be pretty.
My lad has been throwing up all evening. Might take him to staple wood on Monday and see if I can get him coughing in everyone's faces or something to try and get a postponement.
