Hilarious Jokes

[monacoger]

You've come a long way since then, for your posts are mostly of a high standard.

Having said that, you committed the cardinal sin with your first sentence: the comma splice. You used a comma to seperate two independent clauses when a colon would have been better.

Yes, I am a condescending ****.

 

[Toby]

Just type 'semicolon Sussex University' into the search bar and go from there. I promise you you'll have it nailed within ten minutes. Find a resource and stick with it.

Even the very best get confused with dashes, colons and semicolons. I've edited work by bestselling authors and been left dumbfounded by their errors.

I'm a Sussex University graduate

Probably explains my sex appeal and general awesomeness

 

[HRH Custard VC]

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[Toby]

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[Ponders Revisited]

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I have one large ball.

 

[Easter Road 1980]

I have one large ball.

Hitler only had one ball.........................

 

[monacoger]

Hitler only had one ball.........................

Hitler has only got one ball. Goring has got two, but small. Himmler has got some similar, but Goebbels has no balls at all


What a wonderful song, makes you proud to be British. FTP

 

[Ponders Revisited]

Hitler only had one ball.........................

Did he ever have two? Maybe that's why he was so angry.

 

[FosseFilberto]

Hitler has only got one ball. Goring has got two, but small. Himmler has got some similar, but Goebbels has no balls at all


What a wonderful song, makes you proud to be British. FTP

^^^^^

Butchered it ... should have been..

Hitler, has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
Himmler, is very similar
But poor old Goebels, got no balls, at all

 

[monacoger]

^^^^^

Butchered it ... should have been..

Hitler, has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
Himmler, is very similar
But poor old Goebels, got no balls, at all

That is the first verse that every **** knows ffs

 

[Gambol]

What is the difference between versus and verses?

 

[Easter Road 1980]

What is the difference between versus and verses?

The spelling, you stupid ****ing speccy four eyed twat.

 

[Archers Road]

You're quite correct, I've no idea what Ponders was on about. When I was eleven, I was in the extra help with English class with all the ethnics. Read Jaws for homework.

The book was quite good iirc, and had shagging in it, which the film didn’t

 

[Archers Road]

Did he ever have two? Maybe that's why he was so angry.

He did, yes; the other, was in the Albert Hall…

 

[Ponders Revisited]

He did, yes; the other, was in the Albert Hall…

Then there is absolutely no surprise that he was perpetually fizzing.

 

[stopmeandslapme]

The book was quite good iirc, and had shagging in it, which the film didn’t

I don't remember that, was a while ago. Most books at the time seemed to have a chapter with a bit of gratuitous slap and tickle.

I wrote a story for my English homework that had a pornographic sounding opening paragraph but was really about a man entering his boat. "She murmured as he clambered on top of her", etc. My English teacher liked it so much she read it out in the staffroom. One of the older teachers passed me in the corridor and had a go at me, called me "Disgusting". They truly are the best days of your life.

 

[stopmeandslapme]

^^^^^

Butchered it ... should have been..

Hitler, has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
Himmler, is very similar
But poor old Goebels, got no balls, at all

Hitler, has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
His mother, the dirty bugger
She cut it off when he was small

 

[Easter Road 1980]

Then there is absolutely no surprise that he was perpetually fizzing.

That and the fact he was an Austrian short arsed Catholic with horrendous BO.

Didn't really have much going for him to be honest.

 

[GroveRanger]

Patient - Doctor, I am having difficulty pronouncing words beginning with F and T
Doctor - You can't say fairer than that

 

[Mick O'Toon]

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