I'd been seeing this nurse for a few days and we finally got round to sex. As I stripped off I said, "You must have seen a few manhood's where you work, how do you rate mine?" She said, "It's slightly bigger than average." "Thanks." I said, "What sort of nursing do you do anyway?" She said, "I'm a Pediatrician."
Ok, not happy. Just been into TESCO’s and it was nuts, yet again they had no toilet paper at all. Reluctantly i headed to the checkout and ask if they had any more and they said firmly “NO” almost to the point of being rude !!!! Walking back to the toilet with my trousers and pants around my ankles was a walk i never want to have to do again.
I ordered something different from the local Indian takeaway. It’s a Chicken Tarka . It’s like a chicken Tikka , it’s just a little otter .
An Irishman and his son went to the zoo. A sign says, "Feed the elephant a bun to get your age" Little boy gives the elephant a bun and it stamps it's foot 6 times. "Wow" says the boy, "That's right I am 6, you have a go dad" The Irish chap gives the elephant a bun.... A moment later the elephant farts and stamps twice... "By eck that's right, I am farty two!"
A man told the doctor : "My wife's pregnant, but we haven't had sex in over a year. I don't understand it." The doctor said : "It's what we in the medical profession call a grudge pregnancy." "What's a grudge pregnancy?" asked the man. The doctor replied : "Well, somebody's obviously had it in for you please log in to view this image
His Alan Partridge at the travel tavern is one of my all time favourite comedies but I lasted about 10 minutes with one of his more recent stage shows, it was so woke and quite pathetic. Won't stop me enjoying the Partridge and earlier stuff though.
