I knocked on my neighbour's door this morning and said, "Your 5 hour sex session kept me awake all night!" "How?" he asked, You live opposite." I said, "You forgot to draw the curtains."
MY DAD ONCE TOLD ME “IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT IN A PUB, PUT A SNOOKER BALL IN YOUR SOCK” WORSE ADVICE EVER, I COULD HARDLY F*CKING WALK!!