Your final sentence struck a chord with me as that was literally word for word what was said in the eulogy at my Uncles funeral today. It was true you could not have met a nicer bloke, used to go to games with him and my cousin before I was old enough to go by myself.
I have thought about this before, and me and the Mrs had a bit of a chat about it the other day. I'm quoting @WorkyTicketFTM here...."I fear death more for what I’ll miss out on, rather than dying itself". I feel pretty much the same. Ive got a lot to live for, and the thought of missing what I'm looking forward to, or the thought of leaving loved ones grieving, the thought of leaving them all behind, it scares me at times tbh. When I do go, my family know enough about me to know I won't want a church service. The Mrs asked me what songs I would want. I've thought about this before as well, and still keep coming up with the same answer....I'm not picking any! I could pick a few songs, but they might mean nowt to anybody else...they might even hate them. I could just imagine them uttering "not this ****e again" as Ace of Spades" or "Whole Lotta Rosie" blasts out over the crems speakers. I'm gonna let them decide what to play, something they want to remember me by, something that means something to them. I'm quoting @Evil Jimmy Krankie now... "I guess if I want a legacy I’d just like to be thought of as a decent bloke who did his best for his family". That sums it up for me as well, I couldn't ask for more than that.
I used to be a Methodist made to go to church when I was at a young age. The wife is of Catholic faith. I sometimes go to mass with her on a Sunday. She receives Holy Communion. Its wonderful to see the belief and joy it brings to the congregation. I think having that belief makes the thought of dying much easier to accept.
"Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither dismally with age".
It's an interesting one this. I would want to go first before my wife because I'm pretty certain I would find it difficult to cope without her in many ways even just day to day stuff like money etc. She has always dealt with finances insurance stuff contents white goods etc. She's very practical like that where I'm not. Like others before have said I've seen lots of death with my job and dealt with grieving relatives which at times was quite upsetting. I'm sure my wife would deal with life without me better than the other way around. I just worry about her and the kids going through the grief process. When I was poorly in 2017 after my stem cell transplant and things went a bit haywire and I was on life support. I knew nothing about this . Family and friends were called in to say there farewells which must of been so distressing for them and it's things like that that worry me more than anything else. I again like others have said would just like to be remembered as a good lad who loved his family looked after them well and enjoyed the company of friends and was a decent lad.
its such a poignant subject to come to terms with. When we're younger we are immortal. Now we aren't - I saw a lot of ex forces contemporaries die in their 20's and 30's . That was hard . That then stopped - and more people I know now now that am in my 50's are going. its hard -but when I finally push off I just would like it to be quick,id want to be remembered to have done good and would like to have seen the lads win a trophy. Id like to also see the world in a better place for my kids and future grandkids than when I leave it FTM
it was 5 years ago today that i 'bowed out' for a wee while and it certainly changes your outlook on life. i have had 6 canny extra years so far and enjoyed meeting my grand-daughter, i stopped smoking and i honestly cannot say if it has helped me or not but i guess i did not 'get worse' right now i would love to be able to get out and about again and back to a couple of games but really need the specialist to do summit about my meds, i get so much wind now it can be embarassing if in among people. what i can say is that you just don't know, as far as i was concerned i had indigestion then i realised it felt more than that and by the time i turned round i was hit with a pain and that was that, woke up in hospital. a few have said just live your life and they are right, you can worry for ever and do feck all for fear of something going wrong but it wont stop it, it comes for us all and so many do not get the chance to reach grandparents...enjoy everything. we do have a couple of things set up so the cost is covered but i have always thought that it should all be taken away from the family, someone to organise it all and the govt should pay...after all, the earlier you go the more they save!!
We've been discussing it somewhat in the household due to my wife bing sick (she's 49). She's currently jumping through hoops to try and get on the transplant list. If not she's got about 2 years left which in reality is not a very long time. The reality is that she may not be a viable candidate due to another issue that compliactes any surgery so therfore realistic discussions have tsarted to take place. She wants to be scattered at the beach where he mums ashes were scattered. I want to time my death for late in October so i can be used as a halloween decoration and scare the crap out of the neighborhood kids
Hope you get good news with the transplant mate, keeping my fingers crossed for a successful outcome for you both.
I've always liked you marra. You remind me of my dad . No nonsense, say what you want On asked about death, Me dad used to say. "I couldn't give a shìt, put me in the bin", He changed his tune a bit after me mam died but I still didn't know his wishes. So I picked these songs for his funeral. He liked the Beatles back in the day. And this. It was his and me mams song. Fooking hell what a depressing thread
Bloke over from me on caravan site had a liver transplant last year. He looked on deaths door. Looks good now. All the best to you and your mrs marra.
I've told the family to cremate me in the cheapest cardboard coffin available, and that at the end of the service as the curtains open and the coffin slides away I want "Highway to Hell" played. My wife on the other hand has threatened to have me burried in a mahogany casket with brass handles and all, with a full catholic service (her religion, though she's lapsed, not mine) just to annoy me, however as I'll be dead, and I'm positive there's nothing after, I won't care.
